I think the Author is SAYING is to give a LITTLE more attention to the Spouse and a LITTLE Less to the Children – than is already done today – to balance the family better.

The Comments about giving ALL attention to the KIDS than the Spouse – is NARCISSISTIC ; just listen to the WHINNING in the Comments ! And Whining Parents make Whining SPOILED Kids … WAKE UP !

Stop giving TOYS and taking the KIDS to the ARCADE – and actually put ATTENTION to the kids …

I guess its similar to the airline safety advice to wear a breathing mask before putting one on your kid

Personally I agree with the article. Reading the comments of those who disagree, it seems that you guys are being way to technical. Of course you see about your child when they get sick, feed them, etc. But in the long run, as I stated earlier, your children will one day hopefully be grown and take care of themselves. They will probably get families of their own. What do you do when you have neglected your spouse at the expense of some misappropriated devotion, not morally correct devotion to your kids. Then you will be the type to try to split up your kids marriage or make them feel guilty because they don’t run to your beckon call.

Tami, You nailed it. Obviously many of these posters don’t have children or healthy relationships. Moderation is the key. Healthy kids will grow from healthy marriages. Simple as that. It’s people that think we are child abusers because we tell our children to go to bed at 8:00 so they are well rested and limit their activities with video games that probably have kids I won’t let my kids play with! Spoiled children are the problem of many marriages.

I think several of you are missing the point, which is not to neglect children’s needs, but to model for your children a healthy relationship between their mother and father. The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. Your commitment to your spouse needs to be strong in order to do that. How many marriages have fallen apart or suffered from infidelity when the dad feels that his children have become more important to his wife than he is?

well said doug – blood is thicker than water and it’s true to almost every living creature in this planet. no one could ever replace your child’s place in your heart but you can always re-marry when you lost your spouse or if he/she ever left you for someone else. your children’s needs (i mean children and not adult since they’ll have their own life when the right time comes) should always comes first.

children are related by blood to either parent whereas husband and wife are not related to each other except by marriage. children should be prioritized because they are the gauge of a successful marriage.

Remember always the primary reason WHY you get married. If the reason is to raise a family then THAT is the function of your arrangement. If you marry, the decision is based usually upon mutual benefit. Loose sight of that, violate your vows, be intolerant of the changes in life & each other, eg: growing old, fat and ugly together;and no amount of attachment will hold. The responsibility of one spouse to another is to be emotionally, physically as well as intellectually accessible to one another (as well as their children). The FAMILY is a single unit with individual parts that MUST be nurtured/maintained in order to facillitate a functional system. Ignore/remove just one of these and the family unit fails.

these days to much thought is going into parenting. It was so much easier in the past. maybe families were not so close, because humans tended to be more conservative in nature. but divorce was unheard of. in todays society its so fast paced and we have so many more options in life and we know our time on this planet is limited so we want to fulfill our out personal desires. so its hard to balance it all. BUT, one thing is for sure. its human nature to put our children first. ever seen female lion protect her cubs? the husband or wife today can be replaced.
children will always be your blood..

blood is thicker than water…

I can’t believe what I am hearing some of you say…that children are way more important than your spouse….Shame on you for ever getting married and being part of the cause of 75% divorce rate….It will be interesting seeing where you are in 20 years when your children are away at college and married and you are too old to have kids and all you have left is a competely destroyed marriage or none at all. Trust me your kids will be far more interested in their own families. The marriage relationship is the only relationship in the world that lasts forever…..All others including your children are temporary, God entrusted you for a short time with them. But the spouse he gave you forever. And most importantly the children are going to see how you interact with each other and base their relationship with their future spouses on how you were. Have a date night weekly, your child will not die if your not around for two hours, BUT YOUR MARRIAGE MIGHT.

The spouse doesn’t have to come first, but the RELATIONSHIP with the spouse most certainly should. If you choose to put the kids first then you are acting as a single parent–and that is exactly what you will become.

Amy R. is right. Family first. So who makes the decisions for the family? Mom and Dad. The children are the primary concern and consideration of those decisions, but they are not and should not be the decision makers. What an awful burden to place on a child to be a parent’s primary relationship.

On an sinking ship the rescuers rescue children before adults if possible. However, if it is a matter of needs versus wants then needs should prevail even if the child comes in second.

Generally speaking a child’s needs must come before an adult’s needs because an adult should be able to adjust. If a child is sick and a parent is sick even the sick parent should want to address the need of the child first. On an sinking ship the rescuers rescue children before adults if possible. However, if it is a matter of needs versus wants then needs should prevail even if the child comes in second.

Some women should never be impregnated!!

Bgy golly, this is what should happen. The spouses come in first. The children are second. A woman’s most sacred calling in life is to be the wife. And the man is to be the husband. Being parents and a family is secondary., and the rest of life third..

Amy R well said. I like to workout the needs for the good of all of them. Husband and children. Hey, even the dog gets her attention. My family (Ohana) is a package ,one unit ,and I love them all greatly!

This post and all the comments imply that someone has to come first. I like to think that I put our family first. What is best for everyone not just my husband, our children or myself. Some days the kids needs have to come first, some days my husbands and some days my own. We all work together.

Kids are easliy replaced, Spouses however… well, you only get to marry so many times in your life… right?! (Sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell.)

Un-freaking-believable…. You’re spouse had a choice, your child did not. Personally I believe NO ONE has the write to create a life when that life inherently has no choice one way or the other, but if you do, you better put them first, in everything, for always. You owe them everything for forcing your desire of parenthood on them, and it’s a debt you can never fully pay, so you better do your damnedest, or don’t do it at all.

don’t have kids then. they didn’t ask to be born. have fun making them, have fun taking care of them. They are your first priority.Your spouse is already an adult who can tend to him or herself.

No, my daughter’s needs come first. That’s how it should be. I’m a mother first and a wife second. The only person who thinks otherwise is a person who abuses their children and expects their spouse to stand by their side and let them do it. To my husband, our daughter comes first and to me, our daughter comes first. I’m talking her NEEDS not her wants. Their needs come before your spouses needs. (Hopefully, this post won’t post twice.)

there is no doubt children should come first, if parents can not sacrifice they should not have had children in the furst place

Absolutely true! If you focus too much on your children, you will be at odds with your spouse’s needs, or opinions on raising children for that matter, and the conflicts that arise won’t do anybody any good.

Children tend to love you more than your spouse, and they will always be your childeren, but that may not be true with your spouse.

yes i agree . children today need MUCH more attention paid to them, their wants and their needs . ESPECIALLY their wants . we don’t have nearly enuff spoiled , self centered ,Narcissistic children out there .