By Jesse Carrajat
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When it comes to fantasy football predictions and analysis, the line between what is fact, and what is fiction, can become blurred by an author’s biases, opinions, and personal intuitions. As an avid fantasy football reader myself, I have begun to notice the emerging trend of fantasy writers that insert subjectivity into their columns, as opposed to relying strictly on statistical data and cold, hard facts. As a result, readers must beware not only of the credibility of the authors they are reading, but of the accuracy of his/her information. For this reason, in this week’s column, I have chosen to clearly divide and label which of my analysis is fact, versus which is 100% my opinion. Readers are strongly advised to utilize this information at their own discretion…
Kerry Collins, QB, TEN – Fact: Last week, at the tender age of 38, Kerry Collins threw for 244 yards, 3 TDs, and 0 INT against the Indianapolis Colts. Opinion: If you are looking for an EMERGENCY QB replacement late in the season, Grandpa Collins just might be your guy. In week 15, the Titans will take to the air in a shootout against the Houston Texans and the league’s worst pass defense, and Collins will stand to benefit
David Garrard, QB, JAX – Fact: Taking risks only works in the regular season and for Hollywood actors not named Hugh Jackman. Opinion: Post-season success is all about consistency. Of quarterbacks that still may be available in your league, Jaguars QB David Garrard is as consistent as they come. In the past six games, Garrard has not scored less than 12 points, posting 25 or more in three of them. In week 15, Garrard takes on the Indianapolis Colts, who were scorched by the old guy I was just talking about. In a big-time game with big-time playoff ramifications, expect Garrard to GGGrrraaaarrrrrrrr.
Tim Hightower, RB, AR – Fact: I just spent 27 minutes of my life Googleing the movie “Police Academy” trying to think of a funny way to relate the character “Officer Moses Hightower” to Cardinals RB Tim Hightower (obviously, I failed). Opinion: In week 14, Hightower solidified his role as the Cardinals starter over backup Beanie “Baby” Wells, and in week 15, look for Hightower to liquefy the Panthers horrid run defense, and currently, no, I do not know what “liquefying” a teams defense means, and right now, I hope you are enjoying this run-on sentence…and tonight, I’m just kidding I’ll stop now.
Mike Williams, WR, SEA – Fact: Mike Williams’ parents have zero creativity when it comes to naming new born children. Opinion: Seahawks WR Mike Williams will thrash the Atlanta Falcons secondary in week 15. With QB Matt Hasselbald under center, Williams is averaging 18.2 fantasy points-per-game since week five. With no clear NFC West champ established, look for an EHarmony-esque connection between the two.
Kenny Britt, WR, TEN – Fact: I graduated from Rutgers University. Opinion: Therefore, former Rutgers University standout WR Kenny Britt will have a tremendous week 15 while harassing the horrifying Houston Texans secondary. Before injury in week eight, Britt registered seven TDs in just five games. Now that he’s back healthy, he should regain his stride, because Britt’s Got Talent. (waa waa waaaaa)
Rob Gronkowski, TE, NE – Fact: The New England Patriots possess two young and talented tight ends. Opinion: Rob Gronkowski will be the more productive of the two down the stretch. Gronk’ has grown into a stellar red-zone option, hauling in seven TD catches on the year vs. TE Aaron Hernandez’s four. Last week, of the 77 plays the Patriots ran, Gronkowski was on the field for 68 of them, while Hernandez saw just 11. If you are wondering how I actually know that, the answer is: plagiarism.
Owen Daniels, TE, HOU – Fact: Daniels, the Texans star TE, has been injured for much of the 2010 season. Opinion: Now that he’s back, Daniels will be a number one fantasy TE for the remainder of the season. In week 14, Daniels made an immediate impact, catching 5 passes for 91 yards: both season highs. The Texans deprived defense constantly puts their explosive offense in weekly shoot-outs, and Daniels has a great rapport with QB Matt Schaub, aka Lurch from the Addams Family.
Joe Flacco, QB, BAL – Fact: Momentarily, I will attempt to incorporate a cheesy 1998 Brad Pitt film while suggesting to fantasy owners to sit standout Ravens QB Joe Flacco. Opinion: Sit Joe Flacco in week 15. The Ravens will be taking on the streaking Saints and their stellar secondary, who have allowed just eight passing TDs on the year. Expect the Ravens to lean heavily on their rushing attack in week 15. If you are looking for a potential bust this week…….. ………Meet Joe Flacc…..o.
Mark Sanchez, QB, NYJ – Fact: after the last three games, the only people that believe in Jets QB Mark Sanchez are his familia. Opinión: Si eres una de esas personas, lo siento, pero usted está loco. http://translate.google.com/#en|es|
LaDanian Tomlinson, RB, NYJ – Fact: Tomlinson is averaging just 6.5 fantasy points over the past three games. Opinion: Expect LT to be even worse in week 15 against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow is allowing just 60.1 rushing YPG to opposing running backs (plural). Currently in a time-share with RB Shonn Greene, Tomlinson will be bottled up by the Steel-curtain defense.
Adrian Peterson, RB, MIN – Fact: A large percentage of readers will X-out their browsers when they realize that I am recommending to sit AP this week. Opinion: With QB Brett Favre doubtful and backup Tarvaris (pronounced Tar-v-I-don’t-know) Jackson out for the year, Minnesota will have zero passing attack in week 15. The inspired and playoff hungry Chicago Bears defense will tee-off on the Vikings running game, leaving little running room for Peterson. To make matters worse, the game will be played outdoors in frigid conditions at the University of Minnesota. After injuring his knee late in the game last week, it would be a risky move for the Vikings to hammer their all-world back in a meaningless game for the already eliminated Minnesota Vikings.
Stevie Johnson, WR, BUF – Fact: Mr. Wonder and Mr. Ray Vaughan should be the only American men legally allowed to go by the alias of “Stevie.” Opinion: Steven Johnson will continue to slide into fantasy obscurity as the season progresses. Despite averaging 20.1 FPPG over a nine week period leading up to week 12, Stephon has now scored just 26 total points in the past three weeks. Now that fellow Bills WR Lee Evans is done for the season, opposing defenses will focus even more on the breakout Bills receiver.
Brandon Lloyd, WR, DEN – Fact: Broncos WR Brandon Lloyd has made me look silly several times this season when I suggest to sit him. Opinion: This time, I mean it! Sit Brandon Lloyd. Not because I am stubborn, but because starting QB Kyle Orton is doubtful this week, and because even with Orton under center, Lloyd has managed just five catches for 63 yards in the past two weeks. He is drawing double coverage from opposing defenses, and this week, that defense is the Oakland Raiders, who are ranked 7th in the NFL against the pass.
Vernon Davis, TE, SF – Fact: 49ers TE Vernon Davis is currently the 3rd most productive TE in fantasy football. Opinion: 49ers TE Vernon Davis will drastically under-deliver for fantasy owners this week, and should be benched in all formats. In fact, I feel so strongly about this, that I am willing to risk my reputation by predicting the exact stats that Davis will register in week 15. I’m thinking…….1 catch…….for…I dunno…..let’s say…4 yards. Lock it up……
Funny Caption Only a Football Fan Will Get
Choice: “Thanks Mike, my nephew is gonna flip when he sees this….Now if you could just write “Dear Tashard – Man, you so fast….”