Nina In New York: NYC Dept. Of…Ew, Gross.

A young professional’s take on the trials and tribulations of everyday life in New York City.
_________________________

By Nina Pajak

By now you’ve most likely noticed the NYC Health “Pouring on the Pounds” subway posters campaigning to get people to cut down on sugary drinks. You would know, because if you’ve seen them, it was likely all you could do to suppress the desire to throw up. Not in your mouth, because a) I’m sick of that phrase and b) if and when I throw up, I much prefer to expel it from my mouth, not hold it in and what—swallow it back? Then I’d just want to barf again and, in the words of Wayne Campbell, if that happens it could set off a peristaltic chain reaction. I know people use this expression quite often, but I sincerely hope it’s not an actual regurgitative trend among my generation.

nyc dept of health Nina In New York: NYC Dept. Of...Ew, Gross.

(Photo: NYC Dept. Of Health)

Anyhow, these posters. They are offensively nauseating. Each one displays a cup or cups of some variety of sugary drink—fruit punch, cola, lemonade, etc. And spewing forth from those beverages is a sloppy, glistening, phlegmonous mass of what appears to be raw human fat. It’s enough to make you retch up your mocha frapp, which would actually probably be considered a positive result. I happened already to be having a queasy morning today, and the sight of this heap of oozing, pustulant hamburger meat half-submerged in sweet iced tea nearly caused me to heave right on the spot. I had to close one eye and tunnel my vision just to read the headline clearly without catching sight of the image again. So clearly, it worked on all fronts, but…really? You’re killing me, NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene.

RELATED: NYC Fitness & Weight Loss Guide | How To Teach Your Family Healthy Eating Habits

While I can appreciate a good scare tactic, there’s got to be another way to get this message across. I never thought I’d say this, but please bring back the lady with all those amputated fingers. Her hands were horrifying, but at least she’s a person for whom we can feel sympathy and to whom we can relate. A soft drink-soaked lump of human gristle just does not evoke the same “that could be me” feeling. It’s just a big, fat gross-out (no pun intended).

Okay, pun intended.

Check out the ads here, or don’t. Just please, everyone, let’s agree to stop drinking empty calories and lose a little weight so that these posters can go away and get replaced by a wholesome University of Phoenix campaign or more pearls of wisdom from The Most Interesting Man in the World.

______________________________________________________________

Dear Readers: I’ll now be writing about city life every day from now on. While I am rarely at a loss for words, I’m always grateful for column ideas. Please feel free to e-mail me your suggestions.

Nina Pajak is a writer and publishing professional living with her husband on the Upper West Side.

The Nina Archives:

Thanks For Nothing, HGTV.

Do You Know Gus?

I Quit The Gym. No, Really.

Monday Morning Gripes And Grumbles


Comments

One Comment

  1. MIKE says:

    R U SERIOUS!!!

    LOOK AT THIS WOMAN!!! GEEEEZUSSSSS!!

    LAME, PLAIN, AND UNEMPLOYED

  2. Yogi D says:

    I am not one of Nina’s friends as some of the critical cretins on here suggest are the ones writing good things about her new column. I love your writing, Nina, keep it up!

  3. dr mengle,got twins? says:

    nina pajerk..living with her husband and a dog and her stinky gym shoes on the upper east side..god almighty..where did they find this yuppie cretin? and all your so called friends who you told to give you good reviews..cant help hide the lack of talent..your not the real deal..your not a native new yorker..from the belly of the midwest or worst..europe..russia..ach..

    1. John says:

      To Dr Mengle – You moron, why don’t you down some more of those sugary drinks and drown yourself in more of your own fat? You are obviously one of those fat, smelly, unwashed, stinking idiots on the subway who take up two seats and are clutching a Big Mac and a tall Coke while on a train.

      1. DR RUTH SAYS... says:

        AH JOHN YOUR ONLY DANCING WITH WITH HALF A BRAIN..BET YOUR NINA AT NIGHT..NINA WITH HER HISSY FIT…AND YOUR SO WAY OFF REALITY..IM NOT FAT..NEVER WAS..I LEAVE THE OBEASTS TO EAT THEIR WAY TO AN EARLY DEATH..OH NINA AND ENGLISH WRITING 101..NOW THATS A BIG MAC AND FRIED BRAINS FER YA..SEE YA..

  4. KN says:

    Great first week Nina in NY. Your column is my breakfast in the morning.

  5. JP Dog says:

    To me the fat isn’t immediately identified as fat and just grossness, I feel like a more straight forward ad would be better, this one just takes too much thinking and I agree that it is ewwwwww.

  6. FLORIDA ROB says:

    HEY BOB, YOU REALLY GOT HER NUMBER. COME OVER MY PLACE AND WE’LL TROLL HUFFPO FOR A WHILE AND TALK IN ALL CAPS.

  7. Leslie says:

    So funny! Those ads are by far the grossest I’ve ever seen–the raw human fat just puts them over the top. Can’t wait to read your next column!

  8. Sioux says:

    Those ads are repulsive — I wouldn’t be able to look at them after eating breakfast. Your column cracked me up.

  9. Stella says:

    Pustulant hamburger meat and amputated fingers. What a way to start one’s day. When did the University of Phoenix start taking over the country?

  10. NYer says:

    Bob, stay in Florida and keep your comments to yourself!

  11. Cassie says:

    Nina, you are fabulous and I feel the same way about those signs!!!

  12. AmericanCabbie says:

    God how I wish drivel like this could amuse me. Sex and the City Lite? Not!!! Thankfully this column and Nina’s ridiculous web-cam face-shots will be gone within a month. Cash those checks while you can, honey.

    1. fannymeatballs says:

      they seem to amuse you enough that you comment every day – no one is forcing you to read her column – let the rest of us who love it enjoy it in peace.

  13. ratso says:

    WHo cares what this whinner really has to say. I certainlly could care less.

    1. Emily says:

      You seem to care enough to read the post and respond to it. If you are not interested don’t read it and save those who are interested from having to read your comments.

      1. ratso says:

        I actually stumbled across it trying to reach the weather. SHe should cash those paychecks like the other reader says as she will be history in about a week.

    2. brizzle says:

      If you could care less, that means that you must care at least a little, otherwise it would be impossible for you to care less.

      Also, “whinner” is not a word, and you “certainlly” can’t spell.

      Your really have no place commenting on anyone’s writing.

    3. brizzle says:

      If you could care less, that means that you must care at least a little, otherwise it would be impossible for you to care less.

      Also, “whinner” is not a word, and you “certainlly” can’t spell.

      You really have no place commenting on anyone’s writing.

  14. Hrothgar says:

    You are hilarious.

Comments are closed.

More From CBS New York

BUY TICKETS NOW
Get Our Morning Briefs

Listen Live