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Middle-Aged Dating: It’s Never Too Late To Find Your Soul Mate

NEW YORK (CBS 2) — Finding your soul mate at any age can be a challenge, but it doesn’t get any easier when you get older.

With the high divorce rate, though, many singles are still out there – and they’re hoping to find the love of their live the second time around, reports CBS 2’s Katie Fehlinger.

Laurence Sanchez said she knows what she’s looking for.

“Someone that would care for me and my kids, like I would care for them as well,” she said.

As a divorced mother, though, she said dating is more complicated.

“Many women my age, above 44, have children and they come as a package,” Sanchez said.

“I expected to be with the same man my entire life,” Liz, a Greenwich resident who asked CBS 2 not to use her last name,  said.

Liz is a designer, performer and a single mother. Now, at age 53, she’s dating again – and it’s a whole new ballgame.

“Suddenly, 25 years later, you kind of don’t know where to start,” she said. “You’re in a whole new realm of this whole social world. It was scary.”

Experts, however, say older daters have one big advantage.

“The older we get, the more experience we have,” relationship coach Ann Robbins said. “Some call it baggage. I call it experience.”

These days, it’s also easier for people to make a connection. Dating sites now target singles in their 50s, 60s and beyond.

“The technology is so different, and the nature of dating has changed so much,” relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer said. “Things speed up so quickly.”

So how do you get started when you’re too old for the club scene, but too young for the senior center? Dr. Greer said you need to get serious.

“It’s not going to just happen as quickly or as spontaneously as it might have when you were younger,” she said.

Dr. Greer said it’s important to get out there, and to get involved. Finding activities that you enjoy doing, and that broaden your horizons, could also expose you to a potential partner.

“Even if you’re not necessarily going to meet ‘the person’ that you want to date, you may make a new friend,” Dr. Greer said.

Dr. Greer said older daters should be proactive, and shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move. They should keep an open mind when they meet someone and, believe it or not, always remember to smile, she said.

“It’s something so small, and so simple, but it completely changes the energetic exchange, and it completely gives a different message,” Dr. Greer said.

“So far, it is fun. I do not know how long, but so far it is fun,” Sanchez said.

“I believe in love…totally,” Liz said.

Above all, experts said that older daters shouldn’t be discouraged. It’s all about checking people out to see if they’re a good fit – don’t worry about people possibly rejecting you.

  • tim

    thanks for the feedback Jen, I like to please there so not sure where that would leave me in that aspect I am open minded and not afraid of constructive critisism and am always open to suggestions oh yepper and i don’t mind the communication part either….lol… guess it is just hard to meet a person with good qualities the older you get, Not sure but why is it that i hear some ladies dont like the nice guy still am trying to figure that one out maybe you might have an explanation for us guys on that one…… thanks again..

  • DanTe

    The problem with dating for women is that you always want “to be taken care of”. Than you come with conditions. You want to get paid? Shut up and provide the service. Simple.


    I AM A WOMEN IN MY 70’S NICE LOOKING AND FULL OF ENERGY. I AM A WIDOW OF 5 YEARS. i WOULD LIKE TO MEET SOMEONE WHO WOULD ENJOY DINNER A MOVIE OR PLAY BUT I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START. i know there are alot of dating services on the internet but i am reluctant to get involved with them how else can you find someone decent now a days.

  • Louie Sims

    Too many women on these “sites” seem to want to tell a man what he can/can not do. I’m looking for a woman that is looking for a man, a companion, a lover…someone to spend time with and enjoy life…I ain’t a wimp!?

    • Piper

      First thing you need to do is clean up your grammar – ain’t is a word…

  • Catherine.

    I have 30-somethings hitting on me, 60+ somethings hitting on me….where are the 50-somethings?? I am independent and still sexual when most women my age aren’t. I hear that complaint all the time. I have no baggage and a career! geeze. I can’t date someone my son’s ages and like younger women, they also lack the maturity AND financial security – although these days I am not sure many men are financially secure at any age. The search continues……

    • Piper

      I have 20 somethings hitting on me and men much older than me. I am 50 in great shape and take good care of myself. My problems is that the men my age all seem to have fallen apart. They are over weight, out of shape don’t seem to care what they look like but want a woman that does care about herself. Guys take a good look in the mirror that is not what we are looking for.

  • sawnetbean

    Go online, you can find a dating site for any situation.

  • Rog Cat

    Jenifer, you said ” I know tons of great women …” That’s a part of the problem! LOL Older women tend to gain more weight than men of the same age. LOL

    • jennifer

      Rog, The truth is that women tend to take WAY better care of themselves than men. They dye their hair,wear sunscreen,diet and go to the gym. This was also a major problem I found when I was dating. So sorry I am not buying your comment here. It is 95 percent of the time men who want the young hotties but don’t do anything to take care of themselves. I’d like to tell them all to.. use a little hair dye, sunscreen and get thyself to a gym.. so we have a few sexier choices in middle aged men.

  • Jennifer

    It’s only good for women if your attracted to men 15 to 20 years older than you because those are the only ones who will date you.. The men my age ( 41 ) are looking for and dating women who are in their mid to late 20’s. I know tons of great women in their late 40’s to 60’s and guess what? They want to date men their own age. They aren’t even asking to meet someone a lot younger.. but they can’t find them because no one their own age will date them.

    • tim

      well guys need what younger women usually can give them, i wish a woman my age 42 liked the phyusical aspect of the relationship along with all the other benefits, unfortunately the younger woman like that part but do lack the maturity level in other parts so it is kind of a hand off there…… Most of the women out there usually want someone to take care of them i prefer a mutual relationship with a independent woman who enjoys all aspects of a relationship.

      • jennifer

        Tim, my mom for a long time did claim she didn’t find a physical relationship all that important..truth is biologically many women enjoy that aspect more as they get turns out that this was not the case for her but just that she was turned off to a physical relationship because her husband had such bad selfish behavior in their relationship. I ASSURE you women love the physical just as much as men do.. and if your woman is acting telling you other wise it’s because of OTHER PROBLEMS in your relationship or.. that the man isn’t doing it right!

    • jason

      yea well thats mostly their fault for not wanting to date men their own age in their 20s. Men have no choice but to date women younger than them. You go on a dating site and a 24 year women has her profile for searching for guys 25-35.

      • jennifer

        Jason..Revenge is really very mature! Maybe a 24 year old wants to date a 35 year old.. but a 40 year old and a 24 year old. come on.. and there is a lot to be said for having things in common.. even growing up with certain music together and so on. It seems to me therefore that relationships are not really what most guys seek.

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