‘Hart of the Order’
By Sean Hartnett
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There’s no hiding from the fact that the New York Yankees couldn’t get out of their own way in the first inning of Thursday night’s 16-7 loss to the Toronto Blue Jays.  Through a combination of shoddy defense, ineffective pitching by Bartolo Colon and timely Blue Jay hitting, the Bombers surrendered eight runs in the bottom of the first.

The Yankees’ offense did their part by cutting the Jays’ lead down to 9-7 in the top of the sixth, inspiring hope for what seemed an improbable comeback.  Andruw Jones continued his dominance of Blue Jay starter Jo-Jo Reyes with his second homer off the lefty of the night.  The three-run blast seemed to swing the game’s momentum back in the Yankees’ favor but when Hector Noesi returned to the mound for the bottom half of the inning, all hope was lost.

Noesi had been stretched a bit too far by Joe Girardi and it showed as he got roughed up for two singles before Girardi turned to Boone Logan.  Yes… that Boone Logan.  As soon as I began giving Logan credit for turning his season around, he reverted back to his usually feeble ways.  Yankees’ radio announcer John Sterling is known to describe Derek Jeter’s inside-out swing as ‘Jeterian’ but I have another adjective for Sterling’s dictionary: ‘Loganeous’ which should be used to describe the futility of a certain ‘lefty specialist.’

Presenting… The Sterling-Waldman Yankee Radio Dictionary 2011 Edition

a-bomb [ey-bom] (n.)

  1. a bomb whose explosive force comes from a chain reaction based on nuclear fission in U-235 or plutonium.
  2. a device used in World War II that caused hundreds of thousands of innocent deaths in the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and countless other atrocities.
  3. an exuberant home run call used when a slugging Yankee third baseman free or unfree of performance enhancing drugs hits a long ball.

el capitán [el-kæptən] (n.)

  1. the Spanish form of commander or leader: comandante, líder.
  2. a nickname used exclusively in reference to the famous shortstop of the Yankees and all his greatness.

goodness-gracious [good-nis] [grey-shuhs] (adj./interjection)

  1. an exclamation of natural feeling at an unbelievable event.
  2. a prompted reaction to a ridiculous Yankee stunt in which an aging pitcher is re-acquired for a king’s ransom in hope of delivering a championship.

grandyman [grand-dee-man] (n.)

  1. a nickname used to describe a talented Yankee outfielder having a breakout season.
  2. sung by the jubilant announcer after a home run by said outfielder, reminiscent to a song from the 1971 film Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory.

melkman [melk-man] (n.)

  1. a former Yankee who once made a spectacular catch and hit for the cycle but overall was a very ordinary outfielder.
  2. a current Kansas City Royal whom a certain radio announcer still bestows love upon even when hitting a home run against the Yankees.

swishalicious [swish-lish-uhs] (adj.)

  1. a home run call used when a Yankee right fielder goes yark.
  2. seriously… Swish-a-licious!  Seriously???????? C’mon now, that’s too bizarre.

Of course, Sterling would never use a derogatory call as in his world everything in Yankeeland is always rosy and peachy but ‘Loganeous’ would be apropos.  Loganeous as in heinous, a word used to describe something hateful or totally reprehensible.  The floodgates open up when Logan comes into a game.  A lead can be blown or as in last night’s case, a game can get entirely away from the Yankees while he’s on the mound.

It wouldn’t be fair to completely pile the blame on top of Logan.  Noesi set up the jam and Logan’s introduction was simply the icing on the Blue Jay rally cake.  Another reliever deserving of an unflattering nickname is Sergio Mitre who allowed the game to be blown open in mop-up duty.  Mitre allowed a total of four runs over two innings, thus deflating any remnant of good feeling gained by Jones’ three-run homer.

Brian Cashman seems inclined on keeping hold of Logan and acquiring an additional lefty bullpen arm.  J.C. Romero inked a minor league deal with the Yankees yesterday but I can’t see him being anything more than a stopgap if he’s called up to the majors.  Romero brings a good deal of experience but I’m not holding my breath that he’ll be the second coming of Graeme Lloyd.

The point is the Yankees will continue to lose ballgames until some serious talent added to their decimated relief core.  Outside of Mariano Rivera, David Robertson and the pleasantly-surprising Luis Ayala, who can you trust in the Yankees’ pen?  With the non-waiver trade deadline approaching, it’s time that Cashman rids of the deadwood and acquires a couple of legitimate bullpen arms.

Do you agree that the Yankees’ bullpen need a large overhaul?  Leave your comments below and send your tweets to @HartyLFC.

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