Fantasy Football brings out the worst in people. Sure, it can be fun building banter on the message boards with your friends, but most people don’t have enough close friends to build a league top to bottom. You always end up inviting a couple of outsiders, and they tend not to mesh. Whether they take it too seriously, not seriously enough or are just a jackass, they’re in your league, and probably beat you on a weekly basis.
5) Takes It Too Seriously Guy
Ok, we all want to win. But this guy won’t shut up about how he “would have won if Fred Jackson would have cut back instead of taking it up the middle. I seriously should have beat you. Just keep that in mind,” as he kicks his dog or neglects his children, or the other way around. He needs to stop making personal insults, and start asking himself why he drafted someone who played for the Bills. And shut up.
4) Doesn’t Take it Seriously At All Guy
This guy attended the draft, got excited for the season, then gave up all hope after losing his first game of the season. Now the sleeper running back who scores 25 points a game is sitting on his bench gathering dust. He has thirteen pending trades, and three injured players starting every game.
3) Too Many Trades Guy
Trading players is one of the most fun parts of fantasy football, but it can get overwhelming when this guy sends you nine different trades in a five minute period, six of which look identical.
2) CAPS LOCK MESSAGE BOARD MAN
JUST THINK ABOUT HOW ANNOYED YOU ARE GETTING BY THIS SENTENCE AND CONSIDER HOW AWFUL IT WOULD BE WHEN IT’S JUST JOKES ABOUT YOUR MOM AND HOW BAD THE LIONS WERE THREE YEARS AGO, NOT TO MENOTION THE MISSPELILNGS!?
1) You Know This Guy is Going to Win
He went 15-1 in the regular season, only losing miraculously by two points, once. He knows he is going to win, too, and constantly clutters the message boards with pretentious questions like, “Who should I start, Jamaal Charles or Ray Rice? They just keep both averaging 26 points a game.” This guy has seven sleepers who will be first round picks next year. Luckily, he also tends to do the worst with women, so there’s that.
Kyle Ayers is a contributing writer for CBS Local