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Cross River Massacre: Families Disagree Over Who Escalated The Tension

CROSS RIVER, N.Y. (CBSNewYork) -- Why did he snap?

On Thursday, CBS 2's Tony Aiello heard from friends and family of the Westchester County lawyer who murdered his wife and two children before turning the gun on himself.

Sam Friedlander sounded mild mannered on his law office answering machine and looked like a typical suburban dad in a video from the morning of the murders, obtained exclusively by CBS 2.

"He's a really, really nice guy, really quiet," deli owner Denise Macri said.

Macri dealt with Friedlander several times a day. Her deli is directly below his law office in Bedford.

"He was introverted, very quiet, standoffish," Macri said, but added when asked if he was unfriendly, "no, very friendly but in a quiet way, if that makes sense."

What doesn't make sense is the sudden explosion of violence at the Friedlander home in Cross River.

Sam Friedlander beat his wife, Amy, to death, shot his children, Gregory and Molly, as they lay in their beds and then turned his shotgun on himself.

Sam and Amy shared the home while going through a bitter divorce. Some of his friends claim the wife treated the husband with disrespect. One friend told the Daily News, "I think it was just the constant berating. She belittled him in front of the kids."

Meanwhile, Amy Friedlander's family painted a very different picture. Her father, Gary Perez, told several newspapers Sam Friedlander was a "control freak" who couldn't hold down a job.

Friends of Amy say she was vibrant -- a go-getter -- devoted to her children. People thought Sam was devoted, too.

"I cannot imagine somebody taking the lives of their children," Macri said.

One investigator told Aiello the only guy who can explain what happened -- is gone.

Family members are still making funeral arrangements. Amy Friedlander grew up in suburban Philadelphia, and that's where she and the children are expected to be laid to rest.

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