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Fed Up Mom Deals Peculiar Punishment To Troubled 14-Year-Old Son

Forces Her Boy To Wear A Sign On A Street Corner Naming His Many Wrongs

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Public Punishment

Dynesha Lax, left, made her son wear this sign in public. (credit: CBS 2)

NEW YORK, N.Y. (CBSNewYork) — A Fort Wayne, Indiana mother’s unconventional form of discipline is sparking a debate. How far is too far when it comes to punishing your child, particularly, in public?

Dynesha Lax says that what she did was a last resort.

“Since you’re looking for attention, we’re going to get you attention,” Lax said.

She was referring to forcing her 14-year-old son to wear a sign around his neck listing his law-breaking behavior — and stand on a street corner for two hours. The sign read: “I lie, I steal, I sell drugs, I don’t follow the law.”

“He broke the law again today and they only gave him a few hours community service. So I decided that we’re going to wear a sign,” Lax said.

Creative? Perhaps.

The very public punishment was infuriating to some and enlightening to others.

“Boy, that seems awfully harsh,” parent Dean Vidal said.

“I think that’s a little extreme,” Courtney Fishman added.

“Sometimes you have to do something drastic so that he gets the point,” Mary Lou Trattner said.

Mother of three and parenting expert Tammy Gold said there are pros and cons to such extreme forms of discipline.

“At first glance it seems cruel and hurtful and not something that a parent would do. As a clinician I think about it like maybe that’s the only thing that will work with her son,” Gold said.

But sometimes creative punishment crosses the line to criminal.

Last year, a Staten Island mother landed in legal trouble when she dropped her 6-year-old daughter off at a police station as a scare tactic. She was later charged with endangering the welfare of a child.

“Anything that causes harm is crossing the line,” Gold said.

And, Gold said, for that there is no excuse or no wiggle room.

Do you think this “punishment” was fair? Please offer your thoughts in the comments section below. …

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  • Ellen

    Yes she did go to far with this punishment. If a parent wants to teach their child a lesson then how about getting them into helping others like visiting children in a hospital suffering from cancer, or working at a homeless shelter. That would be a lot more productive in teaching responsibility, compassion, and caring for others. Humiliation doesn’t teach anything but low self esteem. Something I think these kids are already suffering from.

    • Laurie A Wurtz VanOrder

      That kind of thinking is why we have a generation of soft, weak, spoiled children. The punishment should fit the crime, and if the criminal justice system isn’t going to take care of it, then by all means, the parent should step in. Humiliation teaches HUMILITY.

      • pam

        EXACTLY Laurie …..

    • JG

      Those things might help this kid, but this kid is not lacking responsibility because he understands that he needs to get up to go sell drugs in school and/or in the street and report back to his supplier. He has compassion and caring but he might only care to apply it to his social circle and family. He think he understands suffering, but only in the sense where it is most felt; to his family, friends, and to himself. Maybe if he saw what the drugs he sold to people was doing to their life he would care, or if he saw the people he cares for effected by the things he is doing it might make him open his eyes. What his mother is doing might serve as cold water on his face.

    • Jean

      What makes you think the mother didn’t already try that? Or that the kid would do it if she tried? She knows her son a lot better than you do and she did what she thought was right. I say good for her. Too many people excuse their kid’s behavior, cover for them or throw up their hands. She refuses to give up on her son but she’s not letting him skate on anything. More power to her

  • Kadie C

    What’s with all the gang comments? Because he’s black he must be in a gang? I mean really people, if he was a white teenager and selling drugs (as an FYI there are more white than black drug dealers) no one would be mentioning gangs.
    If the court had given him more than a slap on the wrist maybe mom wouldn’t have had to take it into her own hands. he’s 14, he knew better, now he’s suffering the consequences. All you pansies whining about him being treated badly are EXACTLY why parents can’t discipline their kids these days and why society is seeing a steadily increasing rate of juvenile crime.

    • Very conservative

      Liberalism is a mental disorder.

    • Courageous!

      I strongly agree, I raised 3 children, on my own and had to do something similar. My son took something from the grocery store one day because he thought he could. Whe I found out, I told him that I couldn’t protect him from the police and that I was turning him in to the grocery manager. I told him that if if the manager wanted to turn him into police, then I would support him because I wasn’t going to have a thief living in my home. I told him that no matter what happened, he needed to always do the right thing. He said I should be protecing him, but I said, If u steal then u must pay the consequences for your actions. I took him back to the store and quietly told the manager what he did and I asked him to scare the living daylights out of him. He did so and pretended to call the police that day he realized that If he stole, then he would have to pay the consequences. He realized that I would not protect him even when he did wrong. I am proud to say that he has gone on to do great things with his life. He chose to join the US Navy and finished college. Now he is a great role model to other young men in his unit or where ever he goes. If I had not been extreme with him, perhaps he would have gone on to be a thug or who know what. Rock on Momma, You’ve got my vote.

  • A Dad

    He is willing to harm himself and others by stealing ,lying and selling drugs,what has this mom done to him that is more hurtful or harmful than that? Good job mom,

    • JG

      Some parents do not need to do anything wrong for a kid to go down the wrong path. Some kids see this lifestyle as alluring because this is what t.v., movies, friends, and media pushes to the forefront as the in thing. He is at the age where he wants to do anything, but listen because he thinks he knows what best. How many parents you know say all the time “I didn’t raise my son/daughter like that.” I know I have heard it far too many times to count.

  • pam

    For those that think this is too harsh, I guess life in prison is a much softer approach, which is where this kid and many others like him are heading if they don’t knock it off. Good for this mother to take a stand, most parents don’t..I hope it works

  • Retired in NJ

    Mother’s message to her son…”Better you should cry now than I should cry later”.

    • JG

      What you said is going on my mirror!

  • LI’er

    I applaud this mother! It is about time someone took responsibility for their child and saw that the laws way was too easy. I played with matches as a child and when my parents caught me I had to go to the firehouse and tell my uncle(a firefighter) what I was doing. I never did again. I hope this teaches the kid like my lesson taught me. And for all you sympathetic liberals, NO, I dont think my parents were too harsh. Kudos to mom!

  • Glenn Ferro

    Most parents nowadays seem to believe that any consequence to their kids misbehaviour or illegal activities is harsh, extreme, or crossing the line. They seem unable to grasp the fact that their attitude encourages the kids to act up.

  • Jennifer McGee Sheremetta

    Im all for the mom in this one!!! Hip Hip Hooray for the updated version of THE SCARLETT LETTER!

  • dianne forand

    Good for her! It is Her son, and she is doing what is needed so he doesnt end up in jail or worse, God Forbid! To the boy, heads up! she could dress you in a frilly dress and make you sit in church all day ike that.

  • sweet

    Sounds like it would be a great idea except one thing.. If he is selling drugs through a gang, and if that gang were to see this display. Wouldn’t you think that the gang would take it out on that boy later on as he’s walking to school, or the store alone? The Mother could be putting the boy in harms way!

    • Jennifer McGee Sheremetta

      true..but he’s old enough to know better. He shouldn’t have joined a gang in the first place..assuming he did.
      Im all for the mom in this one!!! Hip Hip Hooray for the updated version of THE SCARLETT LETTER! ;)

  • http://riesheridanrose.wordpress.com riesheridanrose

    Perfectly valid to me. I am more intrigued by the case of the mother who was charged with harm to a child for dropping her daughter at the POLICE STATION. Isn’t that the safest place in the world for her? Sometimes tough love is tougher on the parents, but more power to them for trying.

    • Jean

      The child in that case was only 6 years old. If the mother couldn’t control her liitle daughter, she was the one with the serious problem.. A kid that little needs discipline, not a “scare tactic” This kid is 14 and I doubt the police station would scare him. He’s already been arrested and repeatedly allowed to walk. Apparently, they were giving him a chance and it wasn’t working. Maybe this will

  • Mom of 5

    I think it was very creative and hopefully will teach him a lesson! She didn’t beat him or hurt him in anyway she just made him admit to his wrong doings! Nothing wrong with that I applaud her!

  • John

    Good fro her!!!!!!

  • DDBRONX

    No mother wants to make her kids look bad or humuliate them. They love them dearly. As much as she puts her son through shameness, she suffers much more. But to hope leading her son out of trouble, she took responsibility to ensure he is aware of his action and feel guilty of it. (Many would hide or protect the shamnes). Regardless, It took a lot of courage out of a mother like that to take responsibility to correct her son behavior. Whichever method, parents choose to teach the kids, we want them be good!! God bless all great mothers, and wish you have the greatest strength to guide us!!

  • DenverMom

    I believe there was a judge in NC once who made a woman wear a sign in front of a grocery store that said, “I killed two kids drinking and driving.” If a judge thinks shame is a worthwhile sentence, what’s wrong with this mom doing it?
    Hopefully, this mom sees some good results from this.

  • DMC

    I applaud this mother, sometimes you need to get creative to get a kids attention. And it surely did not hurt him. This poor mom is trying to keep her son off the path to a life in jail.

  • Drid Williams

    I don’t think it’s too much. The mother obviously loves her son enough to attempt drastic measures that will help him change his ways. I think parents have a tough time these days, when there are very few standards for anything left — much less children’s behavior.

  • DWVegas

    Bravo! A little shame goes along way. In fact, we could use a little more shame today. Enough with the “discussions” and the “time outs” — Bravo to this mother – she is 1000 percent right! Let’s print those names in the paper — enough with the youthful offender status…. Shame’em high!

  • lew

    “Boy, that seems awfully harsh,” parent Dean Vidal said.

    “I think that’s a little extreme,” Courtney Fishman added.

    Are you kidding me??? Get a handle on the crime vs the punishment.

  • Lynn Martin

    I stole a balloon from Woolworth’s when I was about 6 years old. Not only did my mother make me bring it back to the store, I had to pay for the baloon, only 5 cents, but I got my backside beat so bad, I couldn’t sit for a day without pain. What effect did that have on me? I never stole anything again in my life, and I am 52 years old now. I am not a serial killer, I don’t hurt animals, don’t sell drugs…you get the point. I commend this mom for doing HER job. Parents should “rise up” and take back their rights to parent. The cops and child protective services should go after the child ABUSERS and RAPISTS and leave parenting where it belongs, with the mom and/or dad!

    • Dawn L.

      I don’t know you, BUT I love you!!!!!!!! COULDN’T AGREE MORE!!!!!!!! YEAH FOR YOU!!!

    • Jennifer McGee Sheremetta

      TWO THUMBS UP ON THIS ONE!

  • parenting

    Well done. This country is a joke. If you spank them is physical abuse.If you scream is verbal abuse. As a parent you can become hostage of your own kids.
    They can tell you that if you hit them they were told in school to call. Yes the police. Good job for that mom.

  • jayne

    There should be more parents like her who love their children enough to do something like this. It must have been embarrassing for her too but she was there.

    It’s better than hitting him in the head with a 2×4 to get his attention.

  • gloria

    No one knows this boy better than his mother, and she has to be held accountable for unlawful behavior. Forcing him to publicly own up to what he does and causing shame and humiliation is nothing compared to going to jail and then prison. These are serious offenses for someone so young and his mother did what she had to to make him accountable.

  • DaEmph

    I bet you won’t find white parents doing this, they are too scared of their own kids, the kids will be like “F you mom, you wh0re!” And of course the white parents will say “Just wait till we get home!”…knowing your not gonna do jack!
    Props to this mother, stupid kid doesn’t even know what life is all about! DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!
    People let the government raise their kids these days and dictate what punishment is which is what is wrong with most of these kids today, if this straighten this kids out, then good for her.

    • so sad

      “I bet you won’t find white parents doing this” why must there always an idiot making everything a race issue.Shame on you..This is another reason there are so many problems in this world

      • DMC

        I believe this is what they call Reverse RACISM. You are right So Sad. DaEmph needs to think before writing comments like this one. It’s one of the reasons we have so many problems in our society.

    • Tracey

      REDICULOUS

      I am a white mother of two children and I find this comment rediculous… I know plenty of children white and black who’s parent’s don’t discipline their children.. My two children are always held accountable when they do something wrong.. So far so good. This is not a black or white thing, the fact is that there are parent’s out there who are not taking the time with their chidren and leave them alone with a video game system as a babysitter and I applaude this mother for trying to take control of her son’s bad behavior… and I suggest that you use some common sense the next time you leave a comment like that…..

    • Jennifer McGee Sheremetta

      no need to bring race into it…of course there is ONE MORON in every crowd.
      However, FYI…I am white and I would do the very same thing if it were my kid…after I beat his butt!

    • Patricia

      Are you kidding me who do you think you are judging any race I am white and I would damned if my kids pulled the stuff this kid is doing you are crazy and need to take your ignorant ass comments somewhere else

    • Marilyn Banner

      Parents are in control until they become adolescents. After that, it’s all about who their friends are. Funny how people are quick to blame mothers but nary a word about the invisible fathers. I take my hat off to this lady for at least doing something.

  • Alê

    The kid isn’t ashamed of stealing, lying and selling drugs but he cannot bear to stand a couple of hours admitting his own doing? I’m sure it hurt more the mother than the kid himself, for she felt her own shame and felt for her son.

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