A young professional’s take on the trials and tribulations of everyday life in New York City.
By Nina Pajak
With the deepest part of the winter doldrums upon us, it’s important to put a little extra effort into making life feel more…well…lively.
For some of us, that means spending as much time as possible in sweatpants experimenting with precisely how much of one’s necessities can be delivered to one’s door in 48 hours or less with the click of a trackpad. Er, but not me! That’s not me. That’s some guy I know. Sad, right?
Anyway, it’s always nice to have a reason to celebrate something, and losing two pounds of water weight is starting to wear thin as an excuse. That’s why I am thrilled to inform you that today is National Cheese Lover’s Day! As a lover of cheese myself, I’m honored that there’s a day on the calendar that observes my fromagian faith. I mean, I normally just call it Friday, or Thursday, or Tuesday, or Sunday, or any day I happen to be eating lunch or dinner or snacks. I can’t quite figure out whether one is supposed to use January 20th to fête cheese in all its glory or the people who have devoted their lives and waistbands to its appreciation. The possessive apostrophe makes me think it’s the latter. So I guess instead of buying a bunch of cheese for others, others should be bestowing cheese on me. Three triple cremes, a Comté, and a stanky bleu, s’il vous plaît.
Did you know that the average American eats 31 pounds of cheese per year? I stole (I can say that because we’re all safe from SOPA for now) that statistic from an untrustworthy internet source, so it’s probably true enough. I know it sounds like a lot (
no it doesn’t—who am I kidding? I can put away a pound of cheese in an evening and still go out to dinner).
Ahem. As I was saying, that sounds like a lot until you realize that French people eat more like 50 pounds a year. And they probably haven’t even heard of Paula Deen and her “Cheesy Double Cheesecake Ball Cheeseface Macaroni and Cheese Pie Bacon Cheeseburger with Cheddar.”
If cheese isn’t your thing, cheese off. No just kidding. If you’re lactose-intolerant or on some awful diet that you’re actually following or you’re just sort of sad and weird, today is also National Buttercrunch Day (blerg?), and National Penguin Awareness Day. But I’ve had it with those attention-and-fish-mongering, flightless arctic seabirds. With their fascinating mating and child-rearing habits and extremely adorable faces and their Morgan Freeman-narrated movies and animated feature films. I think I am plenty aware of penguins, thankyouverymuch.
Up next: tomorrow is National Clam Chowder day! Get out your bread bowls, folks. It’s a battle between Manhattan and New England. A battle to the death.
Dear Readers: While I am rarely at a loss for words, I’m always grateful for column ideas. Please feel free to e-mail me your suggestions.
Nina Pajak is a writer and publishing professional living with her husband on the Upper West Side.
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