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Nina In New York: Pretty Soon, They're Going To Have To Start Kicking Alec Baldwin Out Of Taxis, Too

A young professional's take on the trials and tribulations of everyday life in New York City.
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By Nina Pajak

We're back at it again. It seems the one activity both individuals and local government can agree is super fun is tinkering with our taxis.

Since we've already settled on our "Taxi of Tomorrow," it seems only natural that the next step would be to focus on the Taxi T.V. of tomorrow. And it isn't a T.V. at all! [Gasp, murmer, rutabega rutabega].

It's an iPad.

That's right. Just in case you and/or your children had managed to prevent the last molecular scrapings of brain-ooze from leaking out of your ear, soon we might be able to play games on a touchscreen from the backseat of any cab in NYC.

To be fair, we don't know precisely what Square, the mobile company which would be designing the exclusive app, is going to propose. And whatever does wind up on the iPads will have to run solely through Square, so they won't necessarily have the games people love best. Although technically, they machines would be capable. But people have high hopes. From an article in yesterday's AM New York, "I'd like to see [voice] ID technology, so I could make calls," said Kenrick Chan, 21, of Sheepshead Bay.

I'm sure that every cab driver in the five boroughs is cringing at the thought that passengers could start shouting phone numbers into the partition and then carry on pointless, filler conversations on speakerphone. I'm envisioning a lot of this sort of hollering:

"GUESS WHERE I'M CALLING YOU FROM! YEAH! A TAXI! NO, NOT ON MY CELL PHONE! ON THE TAXI!! YEAH!"

I know, because that's precisely what I did this past weekend when I rode around in a car that had wireless mobile technology. Honestly, it's almost impossible not to have that reaction.

The only potentially attractive aspect of this iCab thing is one that many people interviewed are looking forward to, which is an interactive map or GPS system that would allow riders to both judge traffic and make sure they're not being shown the scenic route by an avaricious driver. In theory, I like this. It's a nice alternative to my strategy of simply behaving like an obnoxious, local know-it-all who is definitely going to catch wise to being driven on a meter-inflating goose chase. That's just so much work. However, I'm a cynic, and as such I am forecasting far fewer people using the iCab for the purposes of vigilance than for profound and veritably impenetrable distraction.

Furthermore and finally, ewwww germs.

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Dear Readers: While I am rarely at a loss for words, I'm always grateful for column ideas. Please feel free to e-mail me your suggestions and follow me on Twitter.

Nina Pajak is a writer and publishing professional living with her husband on the Upper West Side.

The Nina Archives:

On The Differences Between New York & Los Angeles

Westminster Dogs: Prizes, Not Pets

Post-Valentine's Day Thoughts

On Whitney Houston And Growing Up

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