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Students At N.J. Middle School Say Principal Announced Ban On Hugging

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(Photo by Graeme Robertson/Getty Images)

(Photo by Graeme Robertson/Getty Images)

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MATAWAN, N.J. (CBSNewYork) –There is a lot of confusion at Matawan-Aberdeen Middle School, where students say the principal made an unusual announcement last week.

“First, I heard over the loudspeaker ‘We are a no hugging school’ and we are…’This is our new policy,’” student John Carelli told CBS 2′s Cindy Hsu on Thursday.

Some of the students went home with stories about a hugging ban that if they hugged in school, they could be suspended.
Some parents, including Tammy Sabatini, who has had three kids attend the school, found the idea crazy.

“They’ve hugged forever since they were babies and now they’re being told they can’t do it,” Sabatini said.

1010 WINS’ Steve Sandberg reports


“It’s stupid, I’ve never heard of such a thing. Why can’t you hug?” another parent told 1010 WINS’ Steve Sandberg. “That’s how we grew up, with affection. You hug, you kiss.”

“It’s kind of silly,” one man said. “When I was in middle school I hugged my friends — boys and girls. I don’t know what the big deal is.”

On Wednesday night, many parents received the following recorded message from the principal, trying to clarify things:

“Hugging can be inappropriate and we want to make sure that there’s no inappropriate physical contact.  We certainly do not have a policy against hugging nor do we intend to or have we suspended students for hugging,” the message said.

The message went on to say the school wants the students to stay focused on academics. CBS 2′s Hsu tried to talk to the principal about the issue, but he had no comment. The school superintendent also had no comment.

“I just think it’s an outrage. It’s hugging. It’s not like it’s going to kill anyone,” said student Miranda Allen.

WCBS 880′s Sean Adams On The Story


“If they can’t do it in school, they have plenty of time to hug their friends outside of school — when they’re home under the supervision of their parents, and when they’re in school, they can learn,” parent Deirdre Ring said.

So while there’s still a lot of confusion over the whole issue, students say they will keep on hugging off school grounds.

What do you think of the idea of a hugging ban? Let us know below…

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  • Stacey

    Terrific! Less hugging and more studying. What’s with the hugging anyway? It’s not like they haven’s seen each other in years. We all know what the hugging is about. Get real!!

    • Kat

      Yet another ignoramus.
      And you wonder why kids are hugging each other…look what they have for parents.

      • Daisy

        Kat, assuming you’re not 12 and that you work for a living — when you go to your (presumably legal) workplace, are people “hugging” aka grinding into each other throughout the day? Or are they working?

        My tax dollars are not intended for your children to ‘hug’ in school but for them to work – as students.

  • NJ parent

    Hold on! Apparently many of the prior posters have never heard of ‘friends with benefits’. This has been going on for over a decade. And at the middle school, and drifting downward. Sexting today is common among 12 year-olds. Anyone standing outside many schools today does see quite a bit of groping, extreme hugging, humping, etc. that goes far beyond an exuberant, consoling or even greeting type of hugging. Not sure what’s happening at this school. But let’s give the principal a little slack before we jump down his/her throat.

    • Daisy

      Agree.

  • Matt Bishop

    I’m so glad I went through these years back in the 1960′s. The Schools and their recent “zero-toerance” policies are about as asinine as it gets. Disgusting, simply disgusting.

  • Tony Sailor

    Finally. Have any of you ever actually GONE to a school today and watched all of the hugging and groping going on. Enough is enough. Finish up with the hugging and crap and get thier noses back in the friggen books.

    • Tracy Schillaci

      Gee Tony, do you need a hug?? Ever consider the consequences of bringing up a generation of kids void of the ability to show or express love and affection?

      You need to pull your own head out dude.

      • DawnJ

        I think Tony is a prime example of what you get.

      • Daisy

        You and your little friends are not in school to learn to show love and affection. Do that on your parent’s dime. My tax dollars are being spent so that you can get an education, not ‘hug’.

        And when you’re finished your homework and helping your parents around the house, go do some volunteer work for the less fortunate; that’s loving.

        • Henry

          Just because a student gives their friend a hug between passing periods doesn’t mean that your tax dollars are going down the toilet! Tony and Daisy calm down and pull your heads out!

      • J Biden

        What does this have to do with hugging? Are you an idiot?

        Whups – there I go again!

  • Norbert G. Ginsel

    I am appalled, not only at this, but also that the Sun (UK) reports that BFF’s are forbidden in their schools. This is to promote mental tranquility and avoid disappointment when the inevitable spat occurs.

    You can’t make this stuff up, but Liberals are always there to do it for you.

    • NooYawkah

      I understand that students who go through all four years without obtaining a best friend get a trophy.

  • MichaelL

    Every kid in that school should go and hug two friends a day for the next week. Let’s see the administration put them all on detention and explain it to all the parents.
    What a bunch of a–hats.

    • clease

      That’s what happened when I was in school. The school would come up with some rediculous policy and the student body would protest it and see if they would suspend a whole bunch of kids for it. The school always backed down because it would have been a PR nightmare. Want a school policy, here’s one, make the jocks actually be acountable when they screw up and not put so much focus on the big game. Or have less teachers with god complexes teaching. Or even focus on teaching classes that actually matter when u graduate. Cinima appreciation, come on now.

      • The Grammar Nazi

        Ridiculous. The word is ‘ridiculous’.

        • The Grammar Nazi

          Sorry, I just did a spell check. It’s actually spelled “redeculis.”

  • Tammy Kuiper

    I agree this is crazy but are you aware that there are NJ middle schools that don’t allow touching at all?! Not even if a friend is hurt or crying are they allowed to so much as put a hand on their shoulder for comfort. I know this for a fact because a friend’s son was standing behind two other friends as they worked on a homework problem. He was leaning over looking at what one of them was writing and put his hand on one boy’s shoulder as he was leaning and was called out by a teacher and sent for detention. We are teaching our kids the wrong things by allowing school administrators to establish rules that do nothing but make their lives easier at the expense of our children’s social education.

    • Henry

      That’s ridiculous! Exactly! School isn’t just about an acedemic education, it’s also where kids learn to interact with people their own age. That’s why a lot of home schooled kids are so socially awkward.

  • Comrade Jeff

    Comrades! Comrades! Please! Mother Government knows what is best for her children. When you, as parents, send her children to the Government Indoctrination Camps, you must understand that Dear Mother will raise them well for you. We cannot expect that you will have the time to instill morals and world views while being a productive earner for Dear Mother. Please, do not worry. Dear Mother cares for her children.

    Oh, by the way… Your papers, please, Comrade?

    • Roger Waters

      Tear Down The Wall….

    • linrn

      Yes. Remember the “It takes a village to raise a child” first lady? No thanks. I can raise my kids quite well, thank you.

    • artemis133

      We don’t need no education.

      We don’t need no thought control.

      No dark sarcasm in the classroom.

      Teachers, leave them kids alone…

  • Ed Fdnyretiree

    I can’t let you know what I think of these liberals. You’d ban me from commenting ever again.

  • Voice

    School is nothing but taxpayer supported babysitters.

    • wiley Coyote

      Send those dirty huggers to the reindoctrination camp where they will be forced to watch CBS and MSNBC nonstop for six weeks. Then send them to the beet farm in New Jerseystan for a year.

      • Shannon

        you can’t send them to the beet farm. The govt either just passed a law or wrote a bill to ban chilrden from using farm equipment even if it is on a family members farm. True story…look it up.

        • clease

          texas is rebelling against that one.

  • Robert Ryan

    This school Principal is a Puritanical creep, likely as not a Christian Fundamentalist Fascist! It was swine like him who caused the student riots in American schools in the late 1960′s and early 1970′s!

  • Jim

    When I was in public high school 50 years ago, a boy was not allowed to put a finger on a girl. We could not touch girls. That was a wonderful rule and stopped the problems before they started.

    • Daisy

      Yup.

  • El Conquistador

    Banning an activity outright because a few people abuse that activity is draconian, excessive and illogical.
    I think all “zero tolernace” policies fall under this category – kids getting suspended for handing out tic tacs that somebody thought were pills, misconstrued threatening language causing expulsions, and on and on.
    This is nanny state in its essence:
    Make up sweeping rules to control large groups, no individualism, no situational explanations. Easy-to-enforce policies.

  • Big Ron

    Drugs not hugs!

  • Bill

    NO hugging! NO anything that could be considered bullying! NO sharing food, your friend could be allergic!

    Basically walk in like robots, sit at your desk, and then leave. Best to not even talk to anyone.

  • nygrump

    You’re talking about children. You are a depraved person.

    • Deb

      As a former high school teacher, I can speak to the fact that as nice as hugging is, it can be used as a time waster and a diversion. The issue is probably not the hugging, but the appropriate time and place. Unfortunately, too many students come to school unequipped with proper boundaries and therefore it can pose problems for teachers. Our job becomes teaching these skills as well as math, science and reading. How many “friends” does a student in a class of 30 get to hug before we can all begin class? I hope people can see beyond the headline.

  • Danny

    The principal had no friends growing up and had his luch money stolen all through school. He’ll be damned if anyone is going to have any time of fun during his reign.

    There should be no doubt in anyone’s mind why this country is going to hell in a handbag. This moron is a classic example of what is wrong.

  • Joe

    I think the principal is just a poor lonely fellow/woman who needs a hug.

  • Chris G.

    No hugging allowed…Interesting! I guess the principal rather have the kids beating the snot out of each other

  • Sick of Educators

    I think this principal is pathetic. It just keeps getting worse and worse.
    I am starting to think we are on the way to a land of NO NO NO.
    It kind of sounds like the old Soviet Union.

    Parents should rise up and if the Board does not fire this principal then
    the parents should vote the Board out and vote a new Board in.

    People who run our schools and influence our kids are becoming sickening.
    Parents cannot allow their intrusion into our kids lives.

    • Susan

      Parents and teachers need to work TOGETHER because all of these crazy across-the-board bans stem from a few whackjob parents who sue the school because someone looked cross-eyed at their pwecious wittle one. Teachers and administrators cannot discipline individually anymore for fear of litigation. They constantly deal with parents who refuse to believe their child acts out, breaks rules, or behaves like anything but a perfect angel. No, it’s much safer to enact a “no hugs whatsoever” policy than call home to Mary’s parents that Mary is groping her boyfriend in the hallway. Mary’s father has big bucks, he’ll sue the school for defamation of character, and who has time for that when the State Tests are less than a month away?

  • Gordo

    What’s wrong with the 7th graders?

    • clease

      lol!!!! I was thinking the same thing!

      • Use Deordorant

        Well complaints of body odor among the 7th grade is amazing.They seem not to wash so when they hug the armpit odor flows thru the hallways.You can surely understand the need for ban on hugging.

  • ToeJam

    WoW! Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe they are using the hugging technique as a way to cover up dry humping ?!

    • G. Frost

      Please be joking. You made up a reason kids MIGHT be hugging (i.e. no evidence to back up this claim) and that justifies banning it? Really?

      Are these kids hugging during the class and disrupting it? The story doesn’t say anything to that effect. Think for yourself. Don’t blindly support people in positions of “authority”.

    • Bob Smithson

      you’re a Perv.

    • Danny

      Yep, it’s been confirmed. You’re an idiot.

    • the Mole

      Whatsamatter with a little dry humping, between friends?

  • rabble rouser says

    Does this apply to the pervert teachers as well

    • Bob Smithson

      No.

  • Judy

    Suggestion…Parents in this school districted should go to the next Board of Education meeting and get this idiot principal fired! What’s next?! I’m telling my kids to go to school and hug all their friends tomorrow!

  • val

    This world is in serious trouble if you can’t hug your friends anymore! I think the principal wasn’t loved as a child!

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