A young professional’s take on the trials and tribulations of everyday life in New York City.
By Nina Pajak
Boy, life is hard for Samantha Brick. You might remember her from earlier this week, when she set the Internet ablaze with an article for the Daily Mail online on how tough it is to be really, really, ridiculously good looking. [Insert Blue steel face here]
But she was serious. Ms. Brick claims she is so damn sexy that nobody likes her. At least, no women like her. They alienate her at work, they get mad when she exists in the same vicinity as their husbands, and nobody has ever asked her to be a bridesmaid! Ever! Listen lady, I may not understand what it’s like to be a modern-day Helen of Troy as you are, but I know a thing or two about being a bridesmaid. Suffice to say that while your lack of close female friends is unfortunate, you should take heart in the gobs and gobs of money you’ve saved never having to buy a bridesmaid dress.
It’s a tale of woe, no doubt. But here’s the twist. Ms. Brick is . . . well . . . er. This is awkward. Here, she says it herself:
“I’m no Elle Macpherson.”
No, she isn’t. I won’t jump on the hateful bandwagon of Internet meanies who have gone on to call her all manner of ugly. She’s not ugly. She’s a perfectly nice-looking woman. As far as I can tell from the photo, she looks like the sort of gal of whom people would say, “Samantha? Yeah, I think overall she’s attractive.”
Would they say, as she suggests, “Samantha? That beautiful b*tch, she must be stopped! Based on her looks alone, I find her threatening on both a personal and a professional level and my own sense of adequacy will not be whole again until she is banished from my world bahahahahaha!”
No. I’d venture to say she’s got that wrong.
Now, in an unexpected turn of events, Ms. Brick has become both hated because she’s beautiful AND because she’s not that beautiful but probably totally obnoxious. I feel sorry for her, now. I don’t want to knock her down a peg. This poor woman has gone about her life under the impenetrable delusion that her looks are so outrageously fortunate that it must be why people are nasty to her. Sure, she pretends to look forward to losing her assets (“I can’t wait for the wrinkles and the grey hair that will help me blend into the background”), but I’m guessing that she was a bit deflated after exposing herself to the world and finding out that five gajillion bloggers and commenters don’t think she’s all that. Now what is she left with? Some serious questions about why people are actually nasty to her. And some more serious questions about why so many men go out of their way to pay her tabs and buy her flowers, as she says is a regular occurrence. Perhaps she suffers from frequent wardrobe malfunctions. Perhaps she possesses some sort of mystical sexual energy which she can harness and use to turn a profit. Average looking people who score big are way more inspirational than the ones who are born with it.
At the very least, this woman could write a book on developing an unwavering and astronomical self-confidence. Really, it’s admirable that she’s maintained such a healthy (if inflated) ego in an age when most women can’t look in the mirror without pointing out all the parts of themselves they hate and saying, “Uch. I wish my [blank] was thinner/toned/longer/leaner/smaller/flatter/bigger/straighter/blahblahblah. Then she could use the money she makes off of that book to buy a book on how to have successful female friendships. She should find one that goes something like this:
Chapter One: Amazingly, Not All Women Are Spiteful, Envious Sad Sacks Whose Lives Are So Much Worse Than Yours That They Must Take It Out On You. Really!
Workbook exercise 1: This week, try not accusing all women of being spiteful, envious sad sacks whose lives are so much worse than yours that they must take it out on you. You’ll be amazed how quickly they won’t hate you all the time!
What do you think of Ms. Brick and her opinion about herself? Sound off below…