NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — You’re shallow. You’re a slut. You’re a liar. You’re a mess.

Sounds harsh, right?

But according to a new book, these are just some of the reasons you’re still single.

Tracy McMillan is the author of “Why You’re Not Married…Yet.” Her book – filled with straight talk – is stirring some serious debate among single ladies. But is it fair to put all the blame on women?

More: NYC’s 7 Best Bars For Singles

Two of New York’s top relationship experts swung by The Couch to weigh in.

Julianne Cantarella is “The Courtship Coach” and Richard Easton is a banker-turned-matchmaker.

“The book is necessary…But I feel like I have to defend the modern woman here,” Easton said. “She’s working just as hard as men are for h If she’s 30, she’s been in at least three long term relationships with men who lied to her, never had any intention of marrying her, and probably cheated on her. And now she’s supposed to walk about town all sugar and spice and everything nice? Think about it.”

But as Cantarella points out, the book is also about bad habits and damaging behaviors that can sabotage a woman’s dating life – without her ever realizing.

“I think life experience does shape who we are as people,” Canatrella said. I think from her book, she cites specific examples that she’s had. So it’s nice that she’s willing to say ‘This is what I’ve experienced this is what you can do to counteract that and make it work for you.’”

So what’s the biggest dating mistake men and women make in relationships? Watch the full interview below to find out.