A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York.

By Nina Pajak

Mitt Romney has a binder full of women. This, he feels, is great news for women. I’m not here to support or dispute that. This is not a political column. We keep things light at this party. And just to prove that I’m approaching this in the spirit of aisle reaching-across and bipartisanship and yadda yadda, I’ll add that I really didn’t find that Obama Big Bird campaign ad to be all that funny. Okay?

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Now that we’re all friends, in the spirit of all that stuff I just said—and as a woman—I’d like to point out that while this concept really does lend itself well to some hilarious meme-making, binders are not necessarily an ideal storage method. For one, they are small and women are comparatively large. Second, it’s really hard to keep the holes from ripping and falling off the metal rings over time, and I’m pretty sure those reinforcement stickers went the way of the leather book strap. Also, they don’t come in a sufficient variety of colors for today’s modern gal. Third, and I can’t stress this enough, binders do absolutely nothing for preserving peak freshness.

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I consulted with the National Council of Important Women Who Have Important Ideas for Women (Real Simple magazine, marthastewartliving.com, The Container Store), and came up with some alternative solution for gathering and keeping women who may or may not prove useful in the workplace.

  • Accordion folders are far more practical, often waterproof (for all the menstrual crying), and quite space-efficient.
  • Mason jars. When you’re done with the women, you can ask them to show you how to turn them into really cool candle holders for hipster wedding decor.
  • The kitchen. I mean, duh.
  • File cabinets. Why carry them around everywhere?
  • Fireproof lock boxes. Harder to escape.
  • Leather portfolios, if we’re going to be serious about this “women in the workplace” thing.
  • Giant plastic tupperwares, because they come in a variety of sizes, some of which slide easily under the bed. Also, they come with the patented “burping seal.”
  • Flower pots! Aaaw, so sweet.
  • Rolling suitcases. For the busy woman-storing executive who’s always on the go.

By the way, did you know that you can use binder clips to hold things like sponges and pictures and cash and linen napkins, too?

Sorry, I got distracted. Ohmigosh, look at all these pretty boxes!

  • Muffin tins. Also good for: storing knickknacks, organizing jewelry, separating nuts, bolts and nails, making big, round ice cubes, baking muffins.

I could go on and on, but I’m stuck in this file folder organizer rack (which is also good for storing cutting boards and similarly flat kitchen items).

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