A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York.

By Nina Pajak

Important news, everyone.

Local proletariat subway-riders, Brooklyn imperialist leaders, and generally unfairly cool music industry power couple Jay-Z and Beyonce have officially failed in their attempt to trademark their daughter’s name, Blue Ivy.

Photos: Jay-Z & Beyonce Share Photos Of Daughter Blue Ivy Carter

As it turns out, both “Blue” and “Ivy” were already established parts of speech before they were combined and turned into a celebrity baby name, so some prescient events company in Boston thought of it years ago and therefore won the trademark rights. A boutique in Wisconsin also shares the name, but evidently nobody cares about that very much.


The amazing thing is—and here’s the part where it really gets a little difficult to believe—neither of those companies christened themselves with the now-coveted name because they care at all about Blue Ivy Carter or think that they can make an extra buck off of her already platinum-level star power. I know. Weird, right? I mean, they’ve struck gold! Blue Ivy is obviously such an influential and enterprising young baby, that I’d think any business or entrepreneur would leap at the chance to trade on her name. I, myself, was thinking of changing my byline to Blue Ivy, just in case some would-be reader gets drawn in thinking that this is the real Blue Ivy’s local CBS affiliate humor blog. I mean, we do both live in New York (I think).

Photos: Unique Celebrity Baby Names

If Beyonce and Jay-Z had been thinking clearly, they would have gone the way of Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson, who are the subject of much ridicule lately after their daughter’s name was revealed. Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson may seem like a completely ridiculous name to many, but I dare you to find a Boston-based events company or Wisconsin boutique that already thought of that one.

Well played, Uma. Well played. Although, I feel for your daughter when she has to take the SATs. Then again, perhaps celebrity babies never have to take the SATs, and she’s already received her acceptances to Harvard, Yale and Brown.

I think she’s going to be a Brown girl, but time will tell.

Watch & Listen LIVE