A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York.
By Nina Pajak
I’m going to be honest with you. I write this column a day ahead of its publication. Therefore, I cannot right now comment on the results of the presidential election. However, it is safe to say that right now some of us are triumphant, some of us have entered a very dark mental space, and some of us are as apathetic and uninvolved as they always were and likely forever will be.
Alternatively, it’s the 2000 election all over again and we are poised to spend another week or so on pins and needles and wishing we’d all just agreed to write-in Honey Boo Boo so that we could be put out of our misery already.
Luckily, none of this has affected my mood one way or the other yet, so I bring you more terrible news on the horizon.
Just in case you thought Mother Nature was done whipping the living pee out of us, here’s another dose of crushing humility: there’s a(nother) storm a-brewin’. She’s a merciless b—-, alright.
It seems as though a Nor’easter is headed our way, coming up the coast and promising inches of rain, 50 mph winds and . . . maybe snow?
Normally, this would not be an unexpected weather occurrence in the region, nor would it be cause for drastic actions. Except normally, our beaches and waterfront residential areas hadn’t just been ripped up, flooded, and generally crapped on. Normally, we all have power and heat and upright trees and roofs and natural barriers to rising waters brought on by storms.
I would really like to believe that we are going back to our regularly scheduled programming, in which storms are over-reported and weathermen and women cry big, bad wolf because it makes for great television and local news ratings spikes when you put the weather at the end of the hour. The same programming which caused us to scoff and not evacuate from Zone A and buy wine instead of batteries last weekend.
Of course, in decades of hysterical, misleading warnings, it only takes one time for the wolf to be real and for everything to change. Let’s just hope storms go back to disappointing us, just like elections do (for some!).