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17 Tips For Digital Dating & ‘Flirtexting’

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Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz offer tips for online dating.

Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz offer tips for online dating.

NEW YORK (WLNY) – Single this Valentine’s Day?

Whether you’re looking to try the world of online dating for the first time, or are just not finding the love you’re looking for on the Web, Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz know how to help.

More: NYC’s 7 Best Valentine’s Day Treats & Desserts

Their book, “Flirtexting” explains the rules of modern dating, and how to make the texting and social media work for you.

The co-authors detailed the dish on The Couch on Thursday morning.

Tips For Online Dating:

1. Do recognize your profile picture is the most important thing. Make sure your profile picture actually looks like you. Posting a professional headshot where the angle makes you resemble a Kardashian sister will just lead to disappointment.

2. Do read into profile names. Names like namasteguy, HangTenben, LakrSfan and Soxnundies, can help you determine someones interests quickly, ex: these guys are into yoga, surfing, the Lakers, and well . . . you get the idea.

3. Do be original and thoughtful with your email greeting. Avoid sending universal messages like, ‘Hey how are you?’ and ‘Whats up?’ Instead, say something that will strike conversation right away like, ‘Where were you in your profile picture?’

4. Do be wary of recycled pick-up lines. ‘You’re the first girl I’ve reached out to on this site, so don’t let me down!’ and ‘I enjoyed reading your profile. We have a lot in common’ are all recycled lines.

5. Do some fact-finding before meeting up. Before you agree to go out with a guy, get his email address so you can look him up on Facebook. if you have any friends in common, interrogate them and get the scoop.

6. Do play it safe. If you do agree to a date, tell your friend where you’re going and when you’ll be back. That way if he kidnaps you, shell know who did it: craZy4U911.

7. Dont mobile date solo. If you’re using a GPS dating app like MeetMoi, Skout or Speeddate, make sure you have a friend or two in tow. These apps allow you to see who’s in your neighborhood to make meetups spontaneous. but it can also potentially be dangerous, so use it wisely.

8. Don’t join a dating website and expect the hotties to flood your inbox. The reality is that every guy who messages you may not be the prince you’re looking for. Be ready to pull your sleeves up do some digging of your own to find the guy that suit your taste and lifestyle the best.

Texting Tips:

1. Don’t ever take charge of plans, let him be a man with a plan. Tell me where were going and when you want me to be there – done.

2. Don’t use abbreviations. While texting is a casual platform, if you are flirtexting in the beginning stages of a relationship, it behooves you to make your texts somewhat buttoned up. Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, so spelling at the level of a seventh grader neither charms nor entertains anyone.

3. Don’t over saturate yourself on social media. That means don’t email, Facebook, text and Skype your crush all in one day. Figure out what is going to be more effective and go with that.

4. Be clever and witty. Err on the side of funny, clever and lighthearted in your text. If you’re trying to win someone over, it works every time.

5. Don’t accept last minute date invitations over text. Just because texting makes it easy for him, doesn’t mean he can get away with not courting you. We suggest a minimum of 2 days from the day he texted you out to accept a date invite. Setting standards for how you want to be treated is key. If you accept last minute invites, chances are hell assume you also accept late night booty texts.

6. Don’t kid yourself, if he is only texting you past 11pm, hes probably just looking for a good time.

7. Avoid texting novels. Theres a minimum of 160 characters or less on a text for a reason. Keep texts brief. If you have funny story, save it for a phone call or to tell in person. Otherwise it comes off looking like ramblings.

8. Don’t get into a debate about the relationship over text. Dont ask us to explain ourselves over text. Dont ask us where we think this thing is going over text. Bad idea. Have those conversations in person.

9. Do respond back to a message within 24 hours to show interest. Since our little black books have gone digital, people have come to expect immediate responses. Its okay to wait a little bit to get back to the person who is courting you, but avoid waiting too long. Everyone has a texting rhythm, don’t freak if he takes a while.