Nina In New York: Fare Thee Well, SkyMall. It's Too Soon To Say Goodbye.

A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York. The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.
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By Nina Pajak

Late last week, SkyMall filed for bankruptcy. The Bashful Yeti begrudgingly submitted the paperwork himself, flanked by his support staff which included the famed Zombie of Montclaire Moors and an Easter Island head. Witnesses reported seeing the whole gang out at a bar later that afternoon, drowning their sorrows in goblets that could hold entire bottles of wine and beers distributed by a can-holding ceramic armadillo. Other bar-goers were quoted as saying that the SkyMall crew were a resilient bunch, alternating between exchanging tear-filled hugs and generously passing around extra merchandise they'd rescued from the office to fellow pub patrons. One woman got a dog breed toaster, and several people were seen drunkenly attempting to strap rolled up world's largest write-on maps to the roofs of Uber cars.

It seems as though, as usual, the Internet is to blame for the demise of one of my very, very favorite American institutions. With on-board Internet access, more and more of the busy, well-heeled travelers who once may have perused the SkyMall catalog and even made an impulse purchase or two are now browsing their personal electronic devices instead. So airlines have canceled subscriptions and overall sales went way down.

Frankly, I feel like we all dropped the ball here. The SkyMall catalog was like a loyal, old friend—it was always there, content to wait to be picked up when we felt bored mid-flight, willing to serve as a last resort for entertainment, an object of mocking and amusement if nothing else. It was always dog-eared and worn, and yet there was a comfort in knowing it would never abandon us. When, back in the old days, the lady in front of you was blocking the movie screen, up until today when the satellite television signal blacks out just as the house hunting couple is about to make their final decision, you could always count on good buddy SkyMall to be waiting to catch you.

And we took it for granted, didn't we? We with our candy crushing and our Amazon apps and our bubble popping fruit ninjas. We with our test messages and emails and digital crossword puzzles. While we futzed and piddled, SkyMall gathered dust. And now it's gone, or it could very well be. Where will we get our USB neck pillows and our novelty photo blankets? Where will we look for fairy-themed toilet paper holders and cat litter robots? HOW WILL I ONE DAY DECORATE MY BACKYARD IN A WHIMSICAL YET TASTEFUL FASHION? How can I raise my daughter in a world in which the backs of airline seats hold only safety cards and old issues of Hemispheres? How will I explain to her that, once upon a time, you could spend a flight to visit your grandparents in Florida fantasizing about chip bag resealers and life-size, inflatable, flying shark balloons? How will she learn to dream?

I know it seems like I'm being sarcastic, but I'm really not. And in fact, I harbor no personal guilt over this, for I am a proud and frequent customer over at SkyMall.com. My brother and I instituted a rule, years ago, that all gifts exchanged between us two should only come from this, our very favorite retailer. And I have to tell you, it was the best decision we ever made. Gift giving for us became hilariously fun, stripped of all pressure and head-scratching. He gave me a necklace that holds wine glasses, I gave him an ice cube tray that produces ice in the shape of dachshunds. He gave me velcro slippers, I gave him the aforementioned beer-holding armadillo. One day, one of us would have gotten around to buying that North Star of SkyMall shopping, that elusive bashful yeti. And now he has slipped through our fingers for good. I only hope he and the fine folks at SkyMall can find a way to keep him and all that he represents alive. In the meantime, he will always live on in my heart.

Nina Pajak is a writer living with her husband, daughter and dog in Queens. Connect with Nina on Twitter!