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Jared Max: Who Can Be Selfless And Self-Promoting? Bruce Jenner Can

By Jared Max
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I have recognized myself growing increasingly irritated by baseless, ignorant, and dangerous commentary about Bruce Jenner.

I do not understand the intricacies of our 1976 Olympian superstar's identity. I do not understand what makes a transgender person tick. I do understand, though, that I have a fraction of insight into many hurdles that our celebrated gold medalist has jumped and will continue to in the days, months and years ahead. That I know my intuition provides a mere fraction of understanding underscores the size of Jenner's journey, Jenner's strength.

Before every person who works in the media writes a story or goes on the air to discuss Jenner, I think it might be helpful to try this quick exercise:

Think about decisions we face every day. Deciding on clothes to wear, picking a restaurant and what to order, choosing a new car's exterior color and interior material, finding a new home or job, selecting surgery or alternative medical treatments, even purchasing the right coffin — many of our greatest conflicts stem from making decisions. In your life, which decisions caused your greatest inner turmoil? Then, grab a calculator and hit the multiply button. This should offer a glimpse into the struggle, I imagine, that comes with being transgender.

Before you shoot your mouth off that Jenner is making his story public for reasons of self-promotion, consider that no person would naturally choose to reside in such an obstacle course — even an Olympic gold medalist in decathlon. Jenner's decision to accept his authentic self is the first step toward others accepting who he is, who he will become. We are not expected to understand what is foreign. Great changes take considerable time.

In a Gallup poll conducted in 1996, only 27 percent of Americans said that marriages between same-sex couples should be recognized with the same legal rights as traditional marriages. The same poll in 2014 found 56 percent approval — more than double the acceptance level of 18 years ago. Of the 68 percent who said that marriage equality should not be valid in 1996, that number is now only 42 percent. This is significant change, but it has not happened overnight.

After I had made my decision to write about Jenner, I was inspired to read Nicholas Kristof's excellent op-ed in the New York Times. It speaks a similarly toned message that I wanted to convey about the once-celebrated American sports hero, now depicted by far too many as a freak. Kristof noted that "a 2011 survey by the National Gay and Lesbian Task forced found that 57 percent of transgender people interviewed reported significant family rejection. Partly because of widespread job discrimination, they were often impoverished, and almost one-fifth had been homeless. And 41 percent reported having attempted suicide."

Before you shoot your mouth off that Bruce Jenner should keep his story to himself, consider the great need for his story to be shared. There is a glaring need for education. His television documentary should save and improve the quality of thousands of lives. The same man who was more stealth than any world competitor in a 10-event, single Olympic category in the summer of 1976 is worthy of carrying this torch. Few could. This world record setter can. For this, we should be grateful.

This is not a time to mock what we do not understand. This is an opportunity to applaud. Considering how largely uneducated we are about transgender people, this is a good time to remember that we've been given two ears and one mouth. It is okay to not know. It is damaging to spew hate through ignorance. It makes one look foolish to poke emasculating humor at another whose strength outweighs his critics in spades.

Knowing my challenges — present, past and future — I think back nearly four years to gain perspective of the Everest-like mountains a transgender person — decathlon gold medalist or not -- must climb to reach a summit of solace and inner peace, let alone nirvana.

After I came out publicly on my radio show in May 2011, my cup runneth over in support from friends, former colleagues and some then-current ones — most who had not previously known I am gay. Admittedly, some of my favorite and most important messages came from guys, who happen to be straight, and who shared their admiration for my courage, using two appendages on the male body as their reference point. This was my affirmation — my "You done good" moment. These are the messages Jenner deserves.

Bruce Jenner's mother spoke to the Associated Press about her son's transformation into a woman. Esther Jenner defied belief that an older generation cannot accept what isn't the norm as okay. Bruce's mother told the wire service that she told her son, "I was proud of him and I'll always love him. I never thought I could be more proud of Bruce when he reached his goal in 1976, but I'm more proud of him now. It takes a lot of courage to so what he's doing."

Anybody who believes that Jenner is using his identity transformation to create publicity for himself is a fool, in my opinion. The fact that Jenner has been surrounded by cameras for decades -- no more so than in recent years on the Kardashian's television show -- undoubtedly lends to his comfort to share his story, publicly. Because Jenner has widespread support from family and loved ones, his selfless act to teach the world what it means to be transgender through his own journey will be his greatest legacy.

Bruce Jenner was a dude'd dude. He graced the cover of several boxes of Wheaties cereal — then the ultimate mark of American athletic success.

"When I first learned about it, of course it was a surprise," Esther Jenner told the AP.

It is the unexpected factor that makes this story resonate. But, it isn't only an 88-year-old mother who needs time to process this news. Most people do, including an ex-boyfriend of mine who stopped over for lunch on Thursday. When I told him that I was writing about Bruce Jenner, he said, "That's crazy! I didn't even see that coming." My friend is not a sports fan. He knows Jenner from reality TV. And, even he is surprised.

After I came out, a woman at work who had shown a fondness for me became suddenly cold. I feared that she believed that I had misled her and that she hated me. A few days later, she came around. We became closer than before. Same for my relationship with the first person I came out to, my mother.

Like a suit treated with extra starch at the dry cleaners, some truths take time to break in. To those whose lives will benefit from Bruce Jenner's selfless act, I offer congratulations. To Jenner, I offer gratitude and a desire to speak of the same male appendages my friends related to me. Bruce, you are your family's jewel.

Follow Jared on Twitter at @Jared_Max

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