Nina In New York: Dear Past Nina, A Few Notes

A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York. The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.
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By Nina Pajak

Earlier this week, in honor of International Women's Day, YouTube posted a video to launch their #DearMe campaign, in which adult women give advice to their younger selves. Their hard-won wisdom is heartwarming, level-headed, encouraging, and optimistic. They tell their once confused, insecure kid versions that they are valuable, they are smart, they are worthwhile. They tell them to have fun and to relax and not to sweat being weird or an outcast.

This is so great. I would tell my former self all the same things. Chill out! School isn't everything. Loosen up! Get in a little more trouble (but not too much). "Cool" really doesn't mean what you think it does as it pertains to people. Those nasty girls may or may not grow up to be successful, but you won't really care one way or another. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. You should thank your parents for not allowing you to go to Daytona for your Spring Break at the age of 17, you dummy! Hemlines should be longer than those fingertips, young lady. You think wine coolers are good? Oh, girl, just wait until you meet wine. Go easy on the eye shadow. Easier. Just, go get me the cold cream okay?

But then there are the slightly less monumental things I'd love to go back in time and tell myself. While they may not be profound and heartfelt, they are still plenty important. And this exercise doesn't only apply to my teenage self, but extends to me in my 20s as well. Because I think it's possible I was dumber at 25 than I was at 15. Listen, the path to maturity is hardly a straight line. So, here goes.

Dear Me:

Don't go back to that sleepaway camp. I mean, I guess I understand why you had to try, but what kind of crazy person goes back for two more years after you hated the first? You're not a "camp person." I know, you fit the profile, but soon you'll learn that you are your own brand and it's okay if you don't like all the things your friends like. Color wars will never be for you.

Bangs will never work for you. Neither will short layers. DO NOT ATTEMPT "THE RACHEL GREEN." I just saved you literally decades of self-inflicted pain.

GO TO SLEEP. You've been fighting a reasonable bedtime since you were a kid, and there is no reason to be this tired all the time. One day, you will be exhausted by no choice of your own, and the years of forced wakefulness stretch before you endlessly, with retirement the only golden beacon in the far, far off distance. You pretty much have nothing to do right now in life, so hang up the phone and drink some tea and close your eyes.

You will definitely, definitely get a cell phone one day. Call the editor of your school paper and tell her to kill the op-ed you submitted about how they won't catch on. Don't just kill it. Murder it violently.

You were never "spinning your wheels" in college, and "living and working in the real world" is in no way superior to living with your friends, reading books and writing stories, and sleeping until 2 p.m. because you have no responsibilities financial or otherwise.

You won't wind up caring about the prom. You'd suspected as much at the time, but there was a little piece of you that felt badly about that. Don't spend another second on it. You were right.

Don't get that bellybutton ring. Or the eyebrow piercing. Honestly, what were you thinking? On the other hand, get some cool tattoos before you're too old and broke to think twice about it.

Work a little bit harder in college. You worked too hard in high school, it's true. But college was your reward, and it turns out it was a major peak in your life. Possibly the most fun you'll ever have, and I'm not just talking about parties. You won't remember parties, but you will remember the work you did and didn't do. Learning to BS a paper on a book you didn't read was a good life skill, but it wouldn't have killed you to learn to cut the crap, too.

You are so many wonderful things. Athlete isn't one. That's totally fine, but you should tell mom and dad their money would be better spent on pretty much anything other than Little League anything.

You are way skinnier than you think you are, so shut up and appreciate it. This gets slightly less true as you age, but it's basically the case until you hit your 30s. Cathy Guisewite was right about some things.

Pay more attention to your mom when she's doing boring things. She's really good at things like scrutinizing bills and saving money. You, sadly, are not. Turns out that would've been sort of useful. Live and learn, right?

Nina Pajak is a writer living with her husband, daughter and dog in Queens. Connect with Nina on Twitter!