Watch CBS News

Nina In New York: Amazon Goes Gender-Blind (Kinda)

A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York. The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.
______________

By Nina Pajak

It wasn't until I had my own baby that I realized what a gender stratified world ours is. Don't get me wrong—it's not as though I was completely naive to the concept. I do live here, after all. But I didn't realize the depths of absurdity to which we'd sunk, at least as far as the retail influence is concerned. Pacifiers, humidifiers, rocking horses, strollers, car seats, washcloths, teddy bears, rectal thermometers—everything is subject to the infernal conflict of blue versus pink. Don't know what sort of baby you'll be having, or don't like those two colors, or don't care? Tough luck. YOU MUST CHOOSE.

Last year, I wrote a tirade about an infuriating experience I had attempting to buy a gender neutral bucket at Duane Reade. I unexpectedly find myself forced into confronting my parenting strategy regarding the treatment of gender on a near daily basis. Sometimes, it's legitimately required, like when my daughter runs around calling herself a boy ("hi there, little boy!"). But more often than not, it's a premature contrivance foisted upon me by idiots who insist that little girls would never want to own a toy dinosaur or a sweatshirt with a puppy on it. (This is serious: did you know puppies are accepted decor for boys and kitties are for girls? I won't even get into the depths of how Freudian and messed up this is). I'm not ready to figure all of this out! It's a complex topic with lots of murky areas and I had kind of figured we'd just be our tolerant selves and wing it and see what our kids threw at us. It turns out I actually need to plan ahead, and I honestly resent it.

So, I'm grateful that Amazon has taken a step in the right direction and removed the gender subcategories in its toy shop. It's unnecessary. If I want a tricycle, I want a tricycle. I don't need to decide first whether I'm buying that tricycle for a boy or a girl. Traditionalists may hem and haw about "nanny" behavior, but the fact is that I find it hard to believe "traditional" parents back in the old days actually had to align their child's toothbrush with a gender. We've gone rogue, and it's time to regulate.

However, there is much more work to be done. Because as long as toy makers and apparel wholesalers and pacifier producers continue to sell products that are unnecessarily divisive, Amazon's search functionality really doesn't change the game all that much. No matter how we click through, we're still forced to brand our children from a very early age.

The fact of the matter is, I choose "girly" things for my girl all the time. I like them. They are my preference. And for now, while she's too young to pick for herself, that will be her preference, too. But now that I'm being forced to choose who I'm shopping for before I even know what I'm buying, the guilt when I do go for a frilly princess thing is twofold. Somehow, I feel immediately like I'm playing into some dark, anti-gay agenda. As long as we can even out the shopping experience, at least my selection can feel somewhat more natural, and less like I'm making a political statement from the get-go.

Nina Pajak is a writer living with her husband, daughter and dog in Queens. Connect with Nina on Twitter!

View CBS News In
CBS News App Open
Chrome Safari Continue
Be the first to know
Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting.