Nina In New York: Nobel Laureate Really Sorry For Sexist Comments And How Women Ruin Everything

A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York. The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.
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By Nina Pajak

This week, Sir Tim Hunt, a nobel laureate made a comment in a speech that's drawn some ire from the public. He's had to resign from his post as an honorary professor at University College London, as well as apologize six ways to Sunday. He said he was trying to be funny and light, he just feels plum awful. But honestly, what could he have said that was so bad?

"Let me tell you about my trouble with girls," he said during a conference in South Korea. "Three things happen when they are in the lab: you fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticise them they cry."

Hey, what's the deal with girl scientists, anyway? With their boobs and their dumb, beautiful girl faces and their lack of emotional control? Ha ha! They think they're people, but really they're just walking vaginas in lab coats ha ha ha!

Listen, I don't want to get all blog mobby. I'm fully willing to set down the pitchfork and hear his explanation. The man's career is in extremely temporary shambles from this silly misunderstanding.

"I did mean the part about having trouble with girls," he told BBC Radio in a subsequent interview. "I have fallen in love with people in the lab and people in the lab have fallen in love with me and it's very disruptive to the science because it's terribly important that in a lab people are on a level playing field."

Well. In that case, it makes total sense. I mean, look at this schmuck guy! He's liquid sex, and a knight to boot. Who wouldn't feel compelled to fling her beaker against the wall and doff the lab coat and glasses and practical, academic clothing and advanced degree and decades of uphill work trying to distinguish herself in a male-dominated field? That's the thing about women: it doesn't matter what our brains say, we can't help but listen to our "little heads." And by "little head," I obviously mean uterus. O, but we could keep our baby-makers safely in our pants! But it is the curse of Eve, that original temptress. Listen, I get it Timski. Our raging sexuality coupled with our free-wheeling emotions do make us a workplace liability for all of the serious men who just want to do their work and further their careers without creating any needless obstacles. It's hard enough for a dude out there in the scientific world. The last thing we need is our boobs in their mild-mannered faces. Point taken.

To be fair, Hunt also addressed the other aspect of his excellent joke for which he is truly, truly sorry:

"It's terribly important that you can criticise people's ideas without criticising them and if they burst into tears, it means that you tend to hold back from getting at the absolute truth. Science is about nothing but getting at the truth and anything that gets in the way of that diminishes, in my experience, the science."

He feels terribly that he said that women are weeping wrecks who ruin science with our acid tears and our inability to take criticism with aplomb. And going purely by his original statement and his heartfelt apology, I'm going to assume that Sir Tim Hunt is absolutely not a total d-bag, and that he would never speak down to a woman or insult her intelligence or unnecessarily rip her to shreds and shatter her confidence. He's just a guy being a guy, and women simply cannot hang.

Gosh, the workplace can be so complicated. I'm glad I have a daughter, because I can just raise her to understand her place in the world and accept the fact that the estrogen in her body makes her unfit to do much other than poop out babies and maybe write poems or some other hobby similarly conducive to random, maniacal fits of sobbing.

"I'm really, really sorry I caused any offence, that's awful," Hunt said. "I certainly didn't mean that. I just meant to be honest, actually."

Keep on speaking truth, Timbo. We love you for it. No, seriously, I think I love you. You make me want to do things, like ruin serious lab research and de-stabilize the level playing field about which you care so deeply. Boy, you are good, Sir.

Nina Pajak is a writer living with her husband, daughter and dog in Queens. Connect with Nina on Twitter!