CBS2-Header-Logo WFAN 1010WINS WCBS tiny WLNYLogo

TALE OF THE TAPE

New England Patriots Vs. The Dark Knight Rises

Over the past several years, Christopher Nolan’s seminal Batman movies have not only been examples of great superhero movies, but arguably great cinema as well. It’s no wonder, then, that 2012’s The Dark Knight Rises was met with extraordinary expectations. Similarly, the 2013 Patriots entered the season highly regarded – as they do every year that both T-Brads and Bill Belichick are on staff. So which of these highly anticipated juggernauts delivered?

New England Patriots
The Dark Knight Rises
New York Jets v New England Patriots
"The Dark Knight Rises" New York Premiere - Inside Arrivals
Initial Excitement?
“YEAHHHH!”* (*BUT only for Patriots fans)
Winner “WOOOOO!”
Vague Sense of Worry?
"Why...are we struggling against the Bills and the Jets?"
Winner "Why...is Bruce Wayne hobbling around a broken down apartment?"
Leading man?
Winner Handsome-yet-ruffled protagonist, still arguably in his prime, yet possessing some silly, silly hair. Whines kind of a lot.
Handsome-yet-beaten down protagonist, well past his prime, but still hoping to make a difference.
Growing Sense of Worry?
Winner Man...Rob Gronkowski sure does spend a lot of his life injured.
Winner Man...Bruce Wayne sure does spend a lot of this movie injured.
Features Hines Ward?
No, which stinks, because even retired, he’d be their 2nd best receiver - maybe their best receiver - in 2013.
Winner With gusto!
Unsettling Level of Violence?
Something, something, Aaron Hernandez, something.
Winner That time that everyone in the stadium died...except Hines Ward.
Secret Supervillain
Winner Bernard Pollard.
That silly-voiced fella who gets taken down by Anne Hathaway.
Wise Mentor?
[Emperor Palpatine] Bill Belichick.
Winner Michael Caine!
Most Illogical Move?
Winner Cutting Wes Welker!
Announcing comeback by burning a gasoline bat into the Brooklyn Bridge. That probably took way more time than it needed to, Bats.
Secretly Lousy?
Winner It’s looking that way, but the season is still early.
Yeah.

The Winner Is

"The Dark Knight Rises" New York Premiere - Inside Arrivals
Winner The Dark Knight Rises
6 out of 10

With a score of 6 out of 10, The Dark Knight Rises takes it! But don’t put too much stock into this. Both are probably overrated.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. BASKET-GBR-USA-NBA-ATLANTA-BROOKLYN Golden State Warriors v Los Angeles Clippers - Game Seven
    Tale Of The Tape: Jason Kidd Trade Vs. Doc Rivers Trade

    Coaching trades are rarities in major sports but two have happened rather close to each other in the NBA. Jason Kidd was just traded to the Milwaukee Bucks and in 2013 Doc Rivers was shipped [...]

  2. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images) (Photo by Nathaniel S. Butler/NBAE via Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Jason Kidd, Nets Point Guard Vs. Jason Kidd, Nets Coach

    Jason Kidd isn’t making too many friends in Brooklyn these days, but he’s also hurting those from New Jersey who used to love him. He took his great legacy and strapped it to a rocket headed for the moon. Let’s take a closer look at the damage:

  3. (Photo by Victor Decolongon/Getty Images) (Photo by Jason O. Watson/Getty Images)
    Tale of the Tape: Who Pitched a Better No-Hitter? Kershaw vs. Lincecum

    Two fantastic no-hitters were recently recorded by the Dodgers’ Clayton Kershaw and the Giants’ Tim Lincecum.  While both were gems, which was truly the better pitched game? We looked at the facts along with some [...]

See All Tales of the Tape