Tale of the tape
Replacement Ref Vs. Mom’s New Boyfriend, Mark
|Makes $8.40/hour.||Salary||Makes $8.40/hour.|
|Desperately saving money for Christmas, knowing full well that this gig could end at any second.||Financial Planning||Drank away all of this year's Christmas money already, keeps saying "Oh God, don't tell your mom, it'll be our little secret, OK? Don't tell your mother…Please?"|
|Awfully patches a sport's soul.||Image||Sports an awful soul patch.|
|Tries to buy LeSean McCoy’s affection with pleas of Fantasy Football glory.||Goals||Tries to buy your affection with poorly-thought out gifts.|
|Failed out of University of Phoenix.||Education||Failed out of University of Phoenix.|
|Takes the bus, probably.||Means of Transportation||Drives a Kia.|
|Has a complete lack of big game experience, which serves to further endanger both the quality and the sanctity of American's true game - that brutal ballet known as Professional Football.||Experience||Not real dad.|
The winner is
More Tales of the tape
NCAA Championship Game: #1 Louisville Vs. #4 Michigan
Rick Pitino has been here before, after making his 7th Final Four appearance, he’s now in his third go-round in the title game. He’s got plenty of experience on the big stage and he has the Cardinals playing high level basketball at the right time.
NCAA Tournament Championship Weekend: #4 Michigan Vs. #4 Syracuse
No. 4 Michigan and No. 4 Syracuse square off in Atlanta this weekend with the winner getting a shot to play for the National Title.
NCAA Tournament Championship Weekend: #1 Louisville Vs. #9 Wichita State
Rick Pitino and No. 1 Louisville take on No. 9 Wichita State in Atlanta this weekend for a shot to play in the National Title game on Monday.
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