Replacement Ref Vs. Mom’s New Boyfriend, Mark

  • Salary
    Makes $8.40/hour.
    Makes $8.40/hour.
  • Financial Planning
    Desperately saving money for Christmas, knowing full well that this gig could end at any second.
    Drank away all of this year's Christmas money already, keeps saying "Oh God, don't tell your mom, it'll be our little secret, OK? Don't tell your mother…Please?"
  • Image
    Awfully patches a sport's soul.
    Sports an awful soul patch.
  • Goals
    Tries to buy LeSean McCoy’s affection with pleas of Fantasy Football glory.
    Tries to buy your affection with poorly-thought out gifts.
  • Education
    Failed out of University of Phoenix.
    Failed out of University of Phoenix.
  • Means of Transportation
    Takes the bus, probably.
    Drives a Kia.
  • Experience
    Has a complete lack of big game experience, which serves to further endanger both the quality and the sanctity of American's true game - that brutal ballet known as Professional Football.
    Not real dad.
RESULTS
The ref wins!

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