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Tale of the tape

Replacement Ref Vs. Mom’s New Boyfriend, Mark

refvsmark-1 markvsweb

Replacement Ref

Mom’s New Boyfriend

Makes $8.40/hour. Salary Makes $8.40/hour.
Desperately saving money for Christmas, knowing full well that this gig could end at any second. Financial Planning Drank away all of this year's Christmas money already, keeps saying "Oh God, don't tell your mom, it'll be our little secret, OK? Don't tell your mother…Please?"
Awfully patches a sport's soul. Image Sports an awful soul patch.
Tries to buy LeSean McCoy’s affection with pleas of Fantasy Football glory. Goals Tries to buy your affection with poorly-thought out gifts.
Failed out of University of Phoenix. Education Failed out of University of Phoenix.
Takes the bus, probably. Means of Transportation Drives a Kia.
Has a complete lack of big game experience, which serves to further endanger both the quality and the sanctity of American's true game - that brutal ballet known as Professional Football. Experience Not real dad.

The winner is

refvsmark-1
Replacement Ref
5 out of 7

The ref wins!

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