Tale of the tape

Replacement Ref Vs. Mom’s New Boyfriend, Mark

Makes $8.40/hour.	Salary	Makes $8.40/hour.
Desperately saving money for Christmas, knowing full well that this gig could end at any second.	Financial Planning	Drank away all of this year's Christmas money already, keeps saying "Oh God, don't tell your mom, it'll be our little secret, OK? Don't tell your mother…Please?"
Awfully patches a sport's soul.	Image	Sports an awful soul patch.
Tries to buy LeSean McCoy’s affection with pleas of Fantasy Football glory.	Goals	Tries to buy your affection with poorly-thought out gifts.
Failed out of University of Phoenix.	Education	Failed out of University of Phoenix.
Takes the bus, probably.	Means of Transportation	Drives a Kia.
Has a complete lack of big game experience, which serves to further endanger both the quality and the sanctity of American's true game - that brutal ballet known as Professional Football.	Experience	Not real dad.

Replacement Ref

5 out of 7

The ref wins!

NCAA Championship Game: #1 Louisville Vs. #4 Michigan
Rick Pitino has been here before, after making his 7th Final Four appearance, he’s now in his third go-round in the title game. He’s got plenty of experience on the big stage and he has the Cardinals playing high level basketball at the right time.
NCAA Tournament Championship Weekend: #4 Michigan Vs. #4 Syracuse
No. 4 Michigan and No. 4 Syracuse square off in Atlanta this weekend with the winner getting a shot to play for the National Title.
NCAA Tournament Championship Weekend: #1 Louisville Vs. #9 Wichita State
Rick Pitino and No. 1 Louisville take on No. 9 Wichita State in Atlanta this weekend for a shot to play in the National Title game on Monday.