A young professional’s take on the trials and tribulations of everyday life in New York City.
Well, it’s finally Friday. This week felt weird, didn’t it? I spent most of it a day ahead of myself, which is a very depressing feeling. Nothing ruins a good Thursday like mistakenly thinking it’s actually Friday. Plus the rain, oy! The rain. Good weather for an apocalypse…READ MORE: 2 Dead After Car Lands In New Jersey Pond
Hey, speaking of which, some of us may not make it through the weekend. I wish the best of luck to everyone, whatever your beliefs may be.
Aside from the daily deluge, a whole bunch of news happened this week. Some fun, some awful. Let’s recap:
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, former chief of the International Monetary Fund, allegedly sexually assaulted a maid in a Midtown hotel. He tried to high-tail it outta the country, but the police got to him before he got to his jet. I personally think he’s as guilty as he looks, but lots of French people are outraged at America’s publicly harsh treatment of their compatriote. And as a lover of French culture, food and language and a hater of sexual predators, I really wish that they would shut up. They are just making themselves look so much worse than they already do. From some of the stories, it seems there ought to be quite a few French women out there who are happy to see this guy rot.
For something completely different, the Carnegie Deli held its 20th pickle eating contest, in which people from all over the area came to witness a skinny guy from Long Island shove 20 full-sours down his gullet. Then he celebrated by eating a pastrami sandwich. When he was done, they gave him a trophy, raised him up on their shoulders and carried him off to the nearest dialysis center, cheering all the way.
Donald Trump bowed out of the 2012 presidential race, leaving thousands of toupee jokes tragically unsaid.
“30-Rock” actor and comedian Judah Friedlander wrote an incendiary tweet about Murray Hill’s lack of culture, prompting the twelve real people who still live there to come to its defense. Everyone else did a jägerbomb at Tonic East because someone who is on T.V. said “Murray Hill.” And bro! That’s their neighborhood! Awesome, love it. Totally famous.
A guy was videotaped avidly licking his shoe on the subway. I found him to be quite endearing. He looked like he was enjoying it, like the way a child would lick an ice cream cone. Much more insane than the nutty shoe-licker are the people sitting all around him taking absolutely no notice of what’s happening. They’re not even exchanging surreptitious glances or looking around in confusion. There is a man sitting directly next to him who appears to be completely oblivious. He briefly glances over and then goes back to staring into the middle distance. To me, this is much sadder than a guy enjoying the taste of his loafer.
What does next week have in store? I predict lots more weather, further transportation-related hiccups, various sports happenings and games and scores and what-have-you, and Southwest Airlines instituting an official “no fat chicks” policy. No promises on the holes in the planes, though. You know, things happen.READ MORE: Former NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio Says He Will Not Run For Governor
Dear Readers: While I am rarely at a loss for words, I’m always grateful for column ideas. Please feel free to e-mail me your suggestions.
Nina Pajak is a writer and publishing professional living with her husband on the Upper West Side.
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