NEW YORK (WLNY) — Most women in New York City will tell you the same thing when it comes to dating — that it’s not easy.

Matthew Hussey knows this. And he knows why. Before launching his company, Hussey was strictly coaching the fellas on dating and romance. He worked with a lot of men — nearly 10,000 of them.

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So when women started asking for his help, he had a bit of an idea about how the man’s mind works when it comes to dating: Why he didn’t call, why he didn’t approach you at the bar, why he breaks up with you after a seven year relationship and then marries someone else a month later.

He explains it all in his new book, “How To Get The Guy.”

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“There are guys everywhere, it’s just that women tend to meet the loudest guy in the room,” Hussey said. “One thing I encourage women to do in the book is take that driving seat, be more proactive, but do it in a feminine and elegant way.”

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First of all, you have to get out there – you won’t land Mr. Right sitting on your couch. Second, you have start interacting with people at a different level. Along with visual attraction, man have to feel that women bring something to the table.

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What’s more — a man has to perceive a challenge.

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“People don’t value what they don’t earn,” Hussey said. “Too many women, as soon as they like a guy, immediately start compromising for him, instead of saying, ‘You know what? He still has to earn me.'”