Nina In New York: I Missed The Memo (Please Don't Fire Me)

A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York. The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.
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By Nina Pajak

Oh, Keebler fudge butter. I missed another mom memo. This was the one about sending adorable and personal valentines in the mail to all of my daughter's friends and my friends' kids. Did you see it? I know you saw it, because we got your valentine and I really admired how little Tootie placed her glitter glue globs. Also, kudos on the wordplay. We "loaf" you guys, too! You're really on a roll.

I'm wondering if maybe my email address is wrong on the distro list, or something? There's a dot in my name, and three underscores, followed by all the numbers of all the previous addresses I've had since college, in chronological order. Maybe that's a bad formula. How many other memos have I missed? A lot, I fear. I know I didn't see the ones about professional portraits, or researching and placing myself on a waiting list for nursery schools. Plus I've always suspected that there were a bunch of important emails going around about official protocols for things like bath time frequency, seasonal home craft projects, snack hours, Easter baskets photo opps, and sledding (I promise we'll buy a sled and be ready next time). I feel just awful about it. I mean, it's not like I deliberately didn't read my company emails, but it's really hard to do a job well when you're not receiving important internal communications. I'm not trying to make excuses, here. I know this doesn't look good for me.

Unfortunately, I have this sinking feeling that uncovering this glitch won't necessarily spell the end of this problem. It's not that I don't want to be a good employee, it's just that I don't think Human Resources is going to fix the issue in a timely fashion. I mean, do they ever? You usually have to alert them to a clerical error at least three times before you manage to get through to the right person who actually knows how to correct it in the proper system and will deign to respond to you. Ugh, HR, amiright? In the meantime, I'm sure there are going to be all sorts of crucial memos that will pass me by, and I won't even know I've missed them until it's too late. School birthday goodie bags, Elves on Shelves, Little League post-game team snacks, play date activities, Halloween-themed baked goods, Tisha B'Av party treats. I don't even know what I don't know! My poor clients. I mean, kids. I don't want them to be those kids. You know, the ones whose mom didn't send them in with beautifully packaged, creative Valentine gifts to share with the class. The ones who have zero framed photos in their house of them artfully wrapped in Christmas lights or swimming in a pile of leaves on a crisp Fall day. The ones whose mom stapled their school play costumes instead of using a needle and thread. The ones whose sandwiches are cut into rectangles instead of seasonally relevant novelty shapes. The ones whose school projects always look like an eight-year-old made them (oh, wait).

I'll do my best to stay on top of my work better, I promise. I know it's not just about one's state responsibilities, it's also about making an effort to contribute to the culture of the company. The culture is the company. It's what makes us special, I know that, I do. I read that page in the orientation handbook just like everyone else. I will do more, from now on. I'll go give HR a call this minute. After I finish watching this episode of Gilmore Girls on Netflix. You're going to see great things from me, I swear! Great things.

Nina Pajak is a writer living with her husband, daughter and dog in Queens. Connect with Nina on Twitter!