Radio Free Montone: Has Anyone Seen My Lokai?
By John Montone, 1010 WINS
Attention! "Radio Free Montone" will begin as soon as the blogger discovers his lokai.
If miracle diets and baldness cures worked, I'd be one chiseled stud with thick black hair. I'm not. But I do consume my share of Portobello mushrooms and Chilean Sea Bass, so I am out there willing to be sucked in by that massive marketing machine.
Portobello mushrooms grew wild in the Pennsylvania mud for many years, but fungi farmers could never sell them because they were ugly and tasteless. But now they are PORTO-BELLOS. Likewise, the very pricey Chilean Sea Bass. A piscatorial delight that once went by the extremely unappetizing name, Antarctic toothfish. Most Chilean Sea Bass are caught near the South Pole.
And they're not bass. They're cod.
Ah, yes, my lokai. There it sat on the counter of a nautical gift shop on LBI. It presented itself in the form of bracelets made of soft beads. One white and one black. The white beads were filled with water from Mt. Everest. The black beads with mud from the Dead Sea. "The highest and lowest points on earth," read the circular sign above the bracelets. "So whether you are on top of the world or down on your luck, lokai reminds us to stay humble, hopeful and always moving forward."
What a crock of … brilliant marketing!
Radio Free Montone: Has Anyone Seen My Lokai?
The bracelets retail for 18-bucks. Had they been hanging from a rack across the street at the Surf City 5&10 without that little sign nobody would pay more than $1.99 for them.
Lokai I have learned comes from the Hawaiian word lokahi which means…"unity and to blend opposites…a mental balance." I've got nothing against unity and mental balance. Or the reminder that "throughout life's circular journey, your path is your own." These are clues to a healthier, happier existence. And there are more of them at mylokai.com.
As for me, I'll take grilled Chilean Sea Bass topped with a Portobello mushroom stuffed with crab meat.
