Year In, Year Out They Are Like A Really Bad Movie That You Just Can't Turn Off

By Jared Max
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The Jets are like Alex Rodriguez and the Jelly of the Month Club — a gift that keeps on giving.

With inflammation still pulsating around Geno Smith’s fractured jaw, the 2015 Jets soap opera spawned another salacious twist when the audience was reintroduced to our old pal, Rex Ryan.

No longer tattooed green, the former Jets head coach reappeared in this week’s episode when he added his 2015 tramp stamp to the already-riveting script. And, as a bonus, he brought a circle-of-life theme.

Reminiscent of coach Eric Mangini, who stabbed his former employer after he left the Patriots for the Jets by exposing Spygate, Sexy Rexy jumped into bed with Smith’s estranged knockout artist, IK Enemkpali. Rex’s new employer, Jets division rival Buffalo, claimed IK off waivers one day after the sucker punch heard about ‘round the world.

“We’ll give him a chance to compete, but there’s no guarantee he makes our team.” Rex told reporters. “This isn’t just a bad guy. I think he clearly made a mistake. … I just know firsthand, being around this young man for a year, I feel very confident that he’ll be just fine.”

When Rex coached the Jets, the team looked past Enemkpali’s past, too.

How did that work out?

According to, Smith’s cold-cocker cut his teeth in college when he flexed his physical prowess on a Ruston, Louisiana, policeman. During a bar fight in April, 2011 near Louisiana Tech, Enemkpali struck an undercover cop who was working bar security. When uniformed police arrived, the Jets’ 2014 sixth-round pick was pepper-sprayed, but he kept going. So, then he was Tased.

Enemkpali received probation on a simple battery charge. He was ordered to undergo anger management.

How is that working out?

A current radio commercial tries to sell the 2015 Jets as “Faster! Bigger! Stronger! Funner! Greener!”

The day that training camp opened, we learned the 2015 Jets were greener, indeed. News surfaced that defensive lineman Sheldon Richardson — already suspended four games for smoking pothad been arrested recently in Missouri for driving like Joey Lagano while allegedly acting like Jeff Spicoli.

“Fast Times at Todd Bowles High” premiers Thursday night in Detroit. The trailers and reviews have been generously entertaining. The feature presentaton promises greatness.

On the Jets’ radio commercial, a voice declares, “I think it’s going to be a very exciting season!”

Ya think???

Follow Jared on Twitter at @Jared_Max