Boomer & Carton producer Al Dukes isn’t just celebrating Father’s Day with Daddy Dukes this year.
He also wanted to provide a few tips to make your special day with pops all that it should be.
Tip 1: Tattoos? No gift necessary
“If you don’t know what to get your dad for Father’s Day, take a quick look in the mirror. If you have a sleeve of tattoos covering your arms, I’m guessing that relationship went south long ago. You’re off the hook.”
Tip 2: Thanks a lot, sis
“If you don’t know what to get your dad for Father’s Day, ask yourself this question: is my sister a stripper? If the answer is yes, that means he paid no attention to her and must have been focused completely on your little league career, thinking he had the next Derek Jeter on his hands. So you have to pony up with something expensive. Like a DVD player or something.”
Tip 3: Cromarties need not shop
“If you don’t know what to get your dad for a Father’s Day gift, ask yourself this question: is my last name Cromartie? If it is, you don’t have to get your dad, Antonio, anything. I mean, what are the chances he’s going to realize you’re the kid that didn’t get him a gift. Besides, he has more houses to visit that day than Santa Claus on Christmas.”
Tip 4: I pity the fool
“If you don’t know what to get your dad for Father’s Day, ask yourself this question: am I at a point in my life where I can beat up my own father? If the answer is yes, you’re off the hook. He knows better than to get lippy around you, whining about ‘Where’s my gift?’ If he does whine, lay the smack down.
“Happy Father’s Day, everybody!”