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Paige One: A Few Tips For NFL Players

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Memo from Tony Paige to NFL players: Lose the tattoos! Left (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images), Right (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Memo from Tony Paige to NFL players: Lose the tattoos! Left (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images), Right (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

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By Tony Paige
» More Columns

Now that the NFL has locked out its players, one can only hope that they heeded the warning from NFLPA head DeMaurice Smith when he advised his troops to prepare for the long haul.

Save your money, he advised them, because you never know how long the lockout will last.

NFL players will definitely have to change their ways, especially when it comes to spending.

Their are mortgages, private school tuition and child-support payments that will have to be paid on time.

So while all this is swirling around in their heads, here are some tips that NFL players must follow to survive the upcoming financial hardships:

No more Bling!

I know every pro athlete these days must spend thousands of dollars on jewelry, but not right now. I’m sure there will be a run to the pawn shop to get money for those once in-a-lifetime baubles that you’ll be lucky to get ten cents on the dollar. Also, no more earrings. You should have enough by now. As a last resort, borrow a pair from your girlfriend.

Enough with the Tattoos!

Yes, yes, I know, how can I be a true baller if I don’t have tats covering everything part of my body from my calf to my neck. Well just wait and celebrate when you go back to work. Let’s see … another tat in Chinese or food on the table? That’s a tough choice.

No new cars!

When average folks — you know, that ones who pay for tickets — lose there job or have to drastically cut back, they will fix the hot-water heater, but buy a new car? Out of the question. Keep up the service on your fleet. At least keep up the one you use to go the grocery store. You still remember how to do that, right?

No cleaning help!

This is a real simple one. If you hire someone to clean your house/mansion, now is the time to clean your own bathroom(s). It not that hard a chore. Shoot, you’ve got the time.

The Baby Mama Drama!

If you have multiple baby-mamas (or just one), you are going to have to explain to them that you’re out of work with no money coming in right now. Tell them that they’ll get their money as soon as the lockout is over. Some will push the baby-mama drama envelope by taking you to court for back child support. If you have to go to court, remember, no bling, cover up the tattoos and wear a wrinkled suit. Perception is everything. If you look broke, the judge may have sympathy on you. Then leave the court room without chatting with the woman (women) in question. Why? See the next tip.

No more kids!

Simple enough. Don’t create any more baby-mama drama.

Lose the entourage!

I know, you like to hit the clubs especially if one of your posse is buying, but leave Uncle Ray Ray, Cousin Pookie, Auntie Em and all of the hangers on at home. Make them clean your bathrooms if you don’t want to. Gives them something to do.

Check your drivers license expiration date!

Since you have the time, make sure your drivers license is up to date and not expired or about to expire. Have one of your entourage (with a valid drivers license) take you to the DMV so you can get it done.

I hope these little tips help. And please, if you do go to the club, leave all firearms at home (registered and not) and never, ever get in a car without your entourage if you have been drinking. All that leads to is a possible arrest, accident or more baby-mama drama.

Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below…

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