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Gotham Gossipist: ‘Jersey Shore’ Season Preview

The Jersey Shore Cast Vinny Guadagnino, Jenni 'J-WOW' Farley, Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi, Paul 'DJ Pauly D' DelVecchio, Michael 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Sammi 'Sweetheart' Giancola, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Angelina 'Jolie' Pivarnick ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange. (credit: Jason Kempin/Getty Images)

The Jersey Shore Cast Vinny Guadagnino, Jenni ‘J-WOW’ Farley, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, Paul ‘DJ Pauly D’ DelVecchio, Michael ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino, Sammi ‘Sweetheart’ Giancola, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Angelina ‘Jolie’ Pivarnick ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange. (credit: Jason Kempin/Getty Images)

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By Kimberly Rae Miller

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – Seaside Heights will never be the same: The cast and crew of MTV’s Jersey Shore has wrapped up shooting for their fifth and final season before moving out of the Real World-esqe digs Monday.

See Also: The Jersey Shore Fashion & Shopping Guide | A Guide To The Real Jersey Shore

If you’re not quite sure what to do with the rest of your life now that J-Woww may have to get a real job, don’t stress: You’ve still got two more seasons to watch on TV.  The fourth season, which was shot in Italy, premieres on MTV Thursday.

Here’s a brief synopsis of what’s going to happen this season: Pauly D and the gang head to Italy for forty days. Perhaps not-so-surprisingly, the locals can’t stand them.

See Also: The Jersey Shore’s Top 5 Restaurants

Because the mayor of Florence is a giant stick-in-the-mud, the cast is not allowed to drink publicly, this means that they have boring meaningful sober conversations about life, love, and who vomited in the sink.

Snooki breaks up with her boyfriend. Snooki hits a cop car.  They all return to New Jersey to live and drink another day, and demand more money to do it.

Don’t expect any enlightening art history lessons from the cast. In an interview with Good Morning America Wednesday morning, Pauly D noted, “I think David needs some gel in his hair.”  Yeah, he was talking about that David, the Michelangelo David.

Is anyone else wondering why they went to college?  Obviously my life choices were seriously misguided, because apparently all you really need for financial security is a Long Island Iced Tea and a tube top.

Kimberly Rae Miller is a writer, actress, and host living in New York City (kimberlyraemiller.com).