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Paige One: What Will Rex Ryan Say?

By Tony Paige
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The last couple of weeks for Jets Nation fans have been rocky to say the least.

First, wide-out Santonio Holmes takes a shot at the offensive line, then offensive lineman Brandon Moore returns fire. At least the Jets beat the woeful Miami Dolphins.

This week, head man Rex Ryan opens mouth and inserts foot once again when he mentions he would have won a couple of rings had he been coaching the Chargers instead of Norv Turner.

The return fire was great with Turner wondering if those rings were in addition to the two he had promised Jets Nation.

Ryan is great for radio talk show hosts, great for beat writers, great for cartoonists and great for sports columnists.

He will fill you notebook, audio files and video tape with wonderful off the wall quotes.

He even throws a bone to photographers. Remember the calf tattoo?

All this being said .. Hey Rex, Shut Up and Win Something!

This guarantee this and guarantee that approach is great when you actually win something like the Super Bowl, but when all you do to talk and don’t back it up, you sound more like Patrick Ewing and less like Mark Messier.

So I was wondering what will Rex say down the stretch as the Jets head to the Super Bowl?

Here is a quick peek.

Nov. 6 at the Bills

“This is for the Battle of New York,” boasts Ryan, dressed in a Statue of Liberty crown. Instead of a torch, Ryan holds a Vince Lombardi trophy.

Nov. 13 vs. the Patriots

Ryan comes into his weekly press conference wearing a Bill Belichick hoodie.

“Hey, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” states Ryan.

Nov. 17 at Denver

“If my defense can’t stop Tim Betow,” he says, waiting for the laugh, “then we don’t deserve to be in the Super Bowl.”

Nov. 27 vs. Buffalo

No statue of Liberty for Rex this week. He brings a bushel of New York state apples to the press conference. “This is what this game is all about,” he says as the media stares blankly.

Dec. 4 at Washington

Rex entered his weekly press conference to Hail to the Chief and wearing a powdered wig. The press thinks the powder is of the confectionery variety.

Dec, 11 vs. Kansas City

Rex wears an old Willie Lanier jersey with the number 63 on it to his weekly press conference. “We’re gonna unveil our 63 defense and make the Chiefs throw the damn ball,” he says, adding, “That’s what I’m talking about.”

Dec. 18 at Philly

Rex challenges Eagles head coach Andy Reid to a Philly Cheese Steak eating contest. Reid refuses. Reid challenges Ryan to weigh in to see who weighs the most. Ryan refuses.

Dec, 24 vs. Giants

Ryan wears a Santa Claus costume to his weekly presser only his suit is Jet green, not red. “I have a special gift for Coach Coughlin,” explains Ryan. Coughlin, when asked about Ryan’s getup, wishes the media happy holidays and leaves his press conference. Rumor has it he left a lump of coal at every media member’s seat.

Jan. 1, 2012 at Miami (Jets were eliminated from the playoffs the week before)

The Dolphins new head coach — Norv Turner — is introduced though he won’t take over the team until the start of the 2012 season. When asked why he won’t coach Miami’s season-ending game, he states, “I want to sit back and watch a Super Bowl-bound team in action.”

When asked about his going to the Super Bowl prediction, Ryan explains that he is going to the Super Bowl. “My brother said he could get us some tickets on Stub Hub,” says a humbled Ryan.

What do you think Rex will say? Leave a comment below.

  • Terry

    Hey Tony Paige,

    Yeh it seems a great way for you to get your name out there is to bash Rex. If you actually knew anything about what your speaking of, you would realize Rex was talking about a 2006/07 Chargers. And if you actually use your brain you would realize that the Chargers were way better than the Jets of those yr’s and if he can take a team with less talent than those teams (ie: Jets ’09/ ’10), what are you talking about. One could only imagine what he could have done with that offense and his def.

    You totally missed the point and people like you that keep telling Rex to win something, sound extremely stupid. He has won something, he has won over the hearts of Jets Nation, he has won over the media in NY, he has won over the nation by virtue of the numbers Jets games generate for TV (all records in Prime Time). He has also won more road playoff gm’s than anyone in history and has taken his team to being one gm away from the super bowl. Its just stupid to act as if this guy hasnt done anything.

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