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Nina In New York: Park Slope Parents Missed The “You Scream, I Scream” Memo

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Mister Softee Truck (credit: CBS 2)

Mister Softee Truck (credit: CBS 2)

NY Sweet Spots

A young professional’s take on the trials and tribulations of everyday life in New York City.
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By Nina Pajak

Oh, dear. Has anyone around here ever heard of the phrase “choose your battles wisely?”

Apparently not, as evidenced by a new movement in Park Slope to ban ice cream trucks from kid-heavy areas like playgrounds and parks, because they inspire one too many temper tantrums. Also, the music has inspired a series of noise complaints from neighborhood residents like Ebeneezer Scrooge, Scrooge McDuck (no relation), The Grinch, Mr. Burns, and Cruella DeVille.

More: The 5 Best Ice Cream Shops Outside Manhattan

chipwich Nina In New York: Park Slope Parents Missed The You Scream, I Scream MemoFor the love of all that’s good in this world, leave the ice cream trucks alone! Just leave them alone. Cue viral YouTube video in which my face is streaked with mascara and I choke out uncontrollable sobs as I work through an ocean of Chipwiches. Oh no. I said Chipwich. I will now think of nothing else for the next 48 hours.

More: The 8 Best Milkshakes In NYC

But you see, I am capable of managing my desire for something that I cannot and should not have. I can sit with the thought, despite the fact that it’s sad and in my wildest dreams, a Chipwich will materialize in my hand. That is because I grew up with a healthy exposure to the word “no.” And though I’m sure I occasionally accused my mother of unprecedented and unendurable cruelty, I can say with total honesty that I’m a fairly normal adult with no major psychological scarring. Plus, I never eat more than two cookies at a sitting.

Said one highly quotable mommy on the Park Slope Parents blog: “I should not have to fight with my children every warm day on the playground just so someone can make a living!”

I mean. gy4589truy…….Sorry. That was my head hitting the keyboard.

I hate to give credence to miserly whining of this nature, but a piece of my childhood is being attacked. All of our childhoods. The tingle of nostalgia and excitement that we all get when we hear Mr. Softee’s iconic chimes are the stuff of the collective American experience. What’s next? No more hot dogs at baseball games because kids loooove nitrates. Or maybe we banish those people who walk around with glowy fiber optic blinky tickley wand things after the circus because kids will not back down when glowy fiber optic blinky tickley wand things are involved.

Or, here’s a tip: Just say no. If your kid won’t listen and throws a temper tantrum every time he or she sees an ice cream truck, you’ve got a problem that no quantity of King Cones can fix.

Perhaps if the Fat Frog bar was still around, things would be different. Oh, Fat Frog. Everybody could agree on you.

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Dear Readers: While I am rarely at a loss for words, I’m always grateful for column ideas. Please feel free to e-mail me your suggestions or follow me on Twitter.

Nina Pajak is a writer and publishing professional living with her husband on the Upper West Side.

The Nina In New York Archives:

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A Short List Of Things Nina Learned In Vietnam

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