Radio Free Montone: Kill The Furry & Feathered Invaders!
By John Montone, 1010 WINS
Too bad Marlin Perkins isn't around anymore because there's a new "Wild Kingdom" for him to explore.
It's called the suburbs.
Black bears, coyotes, wild turkeys, deer and Canada geese are making themselves at home in backyards, ball fields, streets, roads and avenues. And the way some folks have been reacting to this invasion of potential killers -- yes, I said killers -- is befuddling to say the least. The other day, a 400-pound black bear was romping around Ridgewood, New Jersey very close to an elementary school. He climbed a few trees and eluded fire fighters who attempted to flush him out. When he finally fell to the ground and was tranquilized a local resident quoted in the Bergen Record was relieved, saying, "If he had died I would have been so upset."
Not me. If I see a big bear loping through my neighborhood, I want him dead and gone. This way he can't kill me or anyone else.
Coyotes were running wild in Elmwood Park several weeks ago and police warned folks there to keep their children in sight. Coyotes are carnivores, yet some people think they are becoming one with nature by leaving scraps of meat out for them. Not good. The coyotes then begin thinking of humans as a food source. Humans are after all, made of meat.
A few years back, editor Maloney sent me to Englewood Cliffs where several wild turkeys had put a big scare into that well heeled community. Some as big as four feet tall with long legs that allow them to travel more than 30 miles per hour chased joggers and dog walkers and a couple blocked traffic, refusing to move even as cars came at them.
One morning as I was barreling along Rt. 4 East in Paramus at 3:45 a.m., I spotted three deer in my headlights right in front of the Garden State Plaza. Since I figured they weren't headed to the mall for the Columbus Day sale, I called 911. The dispatcher asked me what I wanted the police to do about this. "Come and get them out of the road before someone gets killed," to which the dispatcher said, "They were here first."
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Well, he was right, they were here first. But we won. We built the roads and houses and hospitals and schools. It's our turf now. Not theirs.
Now Canada geese can't kill people some people would say. Oh, really. Let's see, bird strike…"Miracle on the Hudson," thank you Sully Sullenberger ...or else. Not to mention the mess these geese make in our parks. But over the years when some public officials have suggested sending the geese to slaughterhouses and then to food banks, concerned citizens have complained that the goose meat would not be USDA approved. Okay, it's not from Whole Foods, but it would fill the bellies of some folks who now go hungry.
What really needs to be done to keep these furry or feathered invaders from soiling our grounds and attacking and yes, even killing us is oh, boy, I'm asking for trouble but here we go: We have to kill, or if you prefer, cull them first.
