Tale of the tape
One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)
|Probably not. Unless he was the one delivering it. In which case, his agent’s gotta get him a new contract.||Delivery?||Not...sure. If only there was some resource to tell us whether or not DiGiorno was delivered or not.|
|One would assume “low”, but, well, here we are.||Level of Risk?||Low.|
|An arm shattered in two places, apparently.||Worst Risk of Injury?||Burned tongue; crippling diarrhea|
|November, best case scenario||Ready for action after consumption?||The next day, unless he went heavy on the red pepper flakes.|
|MAYbe...he got the pizza from an establishment owned by a Packers fan!||Conspiracy Theory Moment?||MAYbe...it actually IS delivery! Wait, who cares?|
|Depends. Was it meat lovers?||Worth crashing a car over?||Heavens, I can’t imagine.|
The winner is
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