Tale Of The Tape: Ferris Bueller Vs. Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods announced he was not going to be able to participate in the U.S. Open. While we get he is injured – the fact he is taken the U.S. Open off has become a big news story. Which made us think – what would a day off with Tiger Woods look like? Would it be better than taking the day off with Ferris Bueller? Lets go to the tape.

(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Ferris Bueller

Tiger Woods

Lots of pre game – McGyvering entire room followed by licking palms and rewiring doorbell.	Start To The Day	Back Massage followed by counting money.
Fine Dining - Chez Quis and its staff await your arrival.	Eating Out	Tiger's notorious for not leaving good tips – you'll pay and feel guilty about it.
Fine museums, sports events, a possible parade.	Soaking in Culture	No chance of going to any public places.
Sloane Petterson or Cameron Frye – either would be a bonus.	Possible Third Wheel	Lindsey Vonn
Priceless 1961 Ferrari 250GT – less than 100 were made.	Getting Around Town	Used Buick with a busted rear window.
Just leave a key under the backdoor mat and we'll be fine.	Chances of Getting Caught	Yeah – we won't go there.

Lots of pre game – McGyvering entire room followed by licking palms and rewiring doorbell.

Start To The Day

Back Massage followed by counting money.

Fine Dining - Chez Quis and its staff await your arrival.

Eating Out

Tiger's notorious for not leaving good tips – you'll pay and feel guilty about it.

Fine museums, sports events, a possible parade.

Soaking in Culture

No chance of going to any public places.

Sloane Petterson or Cameron Frye – either would be a bonus.

Possible Third Wheel

Lindsey Vonn

Priceless 1961 Ferrari 250GT – less than 100 were made.

Getting Around Town

Used Buick with a busted rear window.

Just leave a key under the backdoor mat and we'll be fine.

Chances of Getting Caught

Yeah – we won't go there.

The winner is

Ferris Bueller

4 out of 6

Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Ferris is the king of taking the day off and there is no doubt he is the right choice. Of course the question isn't what are you going to do. The question is what aren't you going to do?

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