Tale Of The Tape: Ferris Bueller Vs. Tiger Woods
Ferris Bueller
Tiger Woods
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
- Start To The DayLots of pre game – McGyvering entire room followed by licking palms and rewiring doorbell.Back Massage followed by counting money.
- Eating OutFine Dining - Chez Quis and its staff await your arrival.Tiger's notorious for not leaving good tips – you'll pay and feel guilty about it.
- Soaking in CultureFine museums, sports events, a possible parade.No chance of going to any public places.
- Possible Third WheelSloane Petterson or Cameron Frye – either would be a bonus.Lindsey Vonn
- Getting Around TownPriceless 1961 Ferrari 250GT – less than 100 were made.Used Buick with a busted rear window.
- Chances of Getting CaughtJust leave a key under the backdoor mat and we'll be fine.Yeah – we won't go there.
RESULTS
Ferris Bueller
Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Ferris is the king of taking the day off and there is no doubt he is the right choice. Of course the question isn't what are you going to do. The question is what aren't you going to do?
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