A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York.
By Nina Pajak
Just when you think you’ve seen the best, most awful thing on the Internet, the new best worst thing on the Internet comes along.
Ah, I love you, Internet. So giving. So thoughtful. Such a heartless mistress.
With Thanksgiving behind us, our holiday season fun continues with a little low-budget gem from our old Rydell High lovebirds, Danny Zuko and Sandy Olsson. Or, as we know them in real life, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. Or, as we know them now, Bloaty “Spray-on Hair” McSoulpatch and Collagenface Q. Tragicmess.
It’s a sad, sad scene.
The song, which is essentially a gift-wrapped stocking stuffer to every blogger and tweeter on the blogotwittersphere, is called “I Think You Might Like It.”
They thought right.
The tune features Bloaty and Collagenface in various scenes of apple-cheeked, corn-fed, good, old-fashioned Amurrican humblepie homecoming. You know, driving down an old country road in a vintage convertible, backseat filled with suitcases and goodies for the fambly. Or descending from one’s luxury private jet, ready to spend Christmas on the ol’ homestead. Wait, Johnny, before you walk down the steps—grab a few of those crystal scotch decanters, will you?
Then there’s a slow-motion scene in which Bloaty and Collie dramatically run towards each other for that Danny-Sandy greeting fans have been wanting since never. Then they inexplicably are at a military airfield base, and their families come in and everyone greets each other warmly and line dances with the fingers in their belt loops, and then I barfed and blacked out, and when I woke up, we were in the middle of a montage of improvised “real people” dancing. How goofy!
Then two soldiers walk in, and one is greeted by family members who may or may not be related to a Travolta or a Newton-John, and the other is all alone. Saddies! But then a security guard who has been standing there the whole time gives him a big hug, and they do a little two-stepping. The end. Merry something!