First the recap of last night’s episode of The Voice: Amazingly, CeeLo (the lady killer on the panel) has two dudes on his team. Christina Aguilera has the coolest contestant in De’borah. Blake Shelton has a country kid and a Scotsman. Adam Levine has one contestant who has had a record deal and one whose dad is a multiple Grammy winner. Who do you think is winning?

Also, did you tweet Carson Daly?

The 3 night @nbcthevoice premiere wk continues in a few mins (non-pacific) ENJOY and thanks so much for watching:) I’m here if u hv any ?’s.

— Carson Daly (@CarsonDaly) September 11, 2012

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Contestant: Adrianna Louise

Sings: Jessie J “Domino”

Sob story alert! Her dad was kidnapped when she was nine years old. The entire gang came to their house and held them at gunpoint. She cries telling this story and somehow music saved her life? Maybe she sang to the kidnappers? Anyway. Cue, “The one thing you can never take away from me is my voice!” Then cue some Jessie J. Adam and CeeLo turn their chairs right around even though this girl’s voice is clearly so thin she’ll never make it past the battle rounds. Christina and Blake follow and the chick hits a strong note at the end of her 90 seconds.

Joins Team: Xtina after some MAJOR buttering up and then Xtina did a super cute little dance — APPROVE

Fun fact: Jessie J is on the panel of The Voice UK

Contestant: Casey Muessigmann (sounds like “Music Man” and no really, that’s his given name…he says)

Sings: Lynyrd Skynyrd “Sweet Home Alabama”

This guy is a wrestler. He put music on the back burner to do it (that’s how much he loves music) and after he got injured, he went back to it. He’s lost 100 pounds, picked up a mic and he’s primed and pumped to get Blake Shelton on his team. Blake knows it too and says, “Boots, I heard boots,” when Mr. Wrestler hits the stage. It only takes one verse to get Blake to turn around. CeeLo turns on the chorus, freak that he is. When it’s all said and done, Mr. Wrestler tells Adam he was waiting for his chair to turn. Also, he calls CeeLo sir, so that was funny. But let’s not kid ourselves, when Blake compliments his ass spanking…that kind of stole the whole thing.

Joins Team: Blake, of course

Contestant: Aquile

Sings: Elton John “Your Song”

This guy’s sob story is he had his jaw wired shut, à la Kanye West, at some point in his life. It’s pretty thin so they quickly cut to how much he wants to work with a famous coach for some validation of his talent. You have to have some brass ones to do Elton John though — Xtina and Adam know it and both turn their chairs around pretty damn fast. The audience is actually eating this guy up, waving their hands in the air. It may have something to do with the excellent songwriting of Bernie Taupin on this track but he does have a very nice voice. CeeLo turns around also, just as he’s on his last note. Adam gives the serious pitch and Xtina asks for a private concert. CeeLo plays it cool, asking what he wants to get out of it.

Joins Team: after a commercial break cliff-hanger he goes with Xtina

Fun fact: Aquile trends world wide on Twitter during the show — interesting…

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Contestant: Ryan Fogarty

Sings: Chris Young “Tomorrow”

Hey, he’s LeAnn Rimes‘ tour coordinator — and she only discovered he was a singer when they went to karaoke. And he gets a celebrity endorsement! She even says he’s the cutest thing in the world! That’s way more adorable than your sob stories Voice producers, so more of this! He karaokes his little heart out on the stage but simply doesn’t have The Voice.

Joins Team: No chairs turn around, but whatever, he’s still got LeAnn Rimes

Here we have this episode’s compilation of people who don’t get picked. Some really, really bad singers. Considering this is the positive singing show, kind of amazing these people got through at all.

Contestant: Mackenzie Bourg

Sings: Foster The People “Pumped Up Kicks”

His sob story is a virus that nearly killed him. Hard to make fun of that except OH MY GOD ENOUGH WITH THE SOB STORIES THE VOICE. Also this kid looks nothing like his parents, it’s amazing. Anyway, Glasses says music helped him cope with everything through his illness and his life being in danger was enough to push him to try out for the nicest reality singing competition ever. And then…he sings Blake Shelton’s favorite song (incidentally this is the most depressing song in the world if you actually listen to the lyrics). If Blake knew this kid was playing guitar himself he’d have turned around already, but CeeLo beats him to the punch. Xtina’s face shows she doesn’t get it.

Joins Team: CeeLo by default but it’s the right spot for this Weezer-ish kid (that Blake mistakes for a Harry Potter and Xtina calls Justin Bieber to Mackenzie’s horror)

Time for one last blind audition!

Contestant:Julio Castillo

Sings: Richie Valens “La Bamba”

First ever all-Spanish song on The Voice, squee! And check it out, he’s fully decked out with Richie Valens hair. Blake hits his button immediately while CeeLo sings along and Xtina chair dances. Is Blake seriously the only person who gets the value of this guy? Oh no, CeeLo hops on the train just in time as he holds one last long BAMBA.

Joins Team: Blake in a bit of a shocker

The wrap up: Adam has no new singers on his team. Blake has two. CeeLo has Weezer kid. Xtina gets the ringer Aquile and that girl who did a Jessie J song.

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-Courtney E. Smith, CBS Local