Nina In New York: I Have Reacted To Facebook's Reaction Buttons!

A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York. The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.
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By Nina Pajak

Important snooze I mean news in the world of social media! Facebook has made a monumental update to its interface. Two days ago, we only had the option to "Like" a photo, article or thought a friend has posted. And if we don't like it, we can simply do nothing. Or, in some cases, write in a comment and vocalize our dislike or disinterest. But all that changed yesterday, when Facebook introduced "reactions," a response to what have apparently been years of complaints that "Like" simply doesn't cut the mustard for those of us with much more complex and valuable opinions which must only be expressed by clicking a single, pre-determined button. So now, in addition to the classic "Like" option, users may select from the following emoji (many of which are animated!): Haha, Love, Wow, Sad, and Angry.

Well. I feel as though I'll never need to say another actual, human word. Bravo, Zuckerberg! Or should I say, <clapping hands emoji>. While it seems many Facebookers and advertisers are pleased with this addition, I find myself amazed that Facebook managed to find a way to make the experience of scrolling through one's newsfeed even sillier and more meaningless than before. As thoroughly fulfilling as it was to be alerted to the fact that a friend Liked a link to an article about elderly blind people who read to blind shelter cats, now I have the benefit of the profound insight that that same friend has reacted to a photo of Donald Trump being compared to an Oompa Loompa. How did she react? Was it with an Angry face? A Love heart? An incisive, witty Wow? I must know. My world is so much richer.

I may have to take this sea of change as a sign that I'm aging out of the social media demographic. Or maybe I'm just not a personality fit any longer, as I can totally see my aunt getting jazzed about hitting that Haha button.

But let's consider this a bit longer, before I decide to simply opt out forever. Sad and Angry could have been taken care of with a simple "Dislike" option. Love and Wow can reasonably fall under the Like umbrella. What of all the many more relevant and necessary reactions to the bulk of what's posted on Facebook? How about an emoji that conveys a user's utter disgust at another user's choice to incite a vaccine debate on a public page? Or an Eye Roll face, applicable to everything from self-righteous, redundant political statements to lengthy accounts of one's toddler's potty triumphs and travails? Or, if you don't want to focus so much on the negative, how about a face that says, "your gratuitous photos of your exciting life of travel and exotic eating is making me hungry and jealous in a way that ought to please you?" Or what about a Congratulations button, so that I don't have to write it on someone's photo of their new baby/wedding/honeymoon/new office and then receive updates all day that 400 strangers did the exact same thing? Feh. I'm outta here.

Unless the Facebook team actually cooks up a Feh button, in which case I'm back in for life. Ball's in your court, Zuckerberg.

Nina Pajak is a writer living with her husband, daughter and dog in Queens. Connect with Nina on Twitter!