NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — For those who suffered the loss of a family member on 9/11, 20 years may seem like both a minute and a lifetime.

Every person impacted remembers and tries to heal in their own way.

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CBS2’s Andrea Grymes brings us one family’s story.

Last Sept. 11, with the COVID-19 pandemic raging, there was a scaled down ceremony at the 9/11 Memorial. Some victims’ family members made the gut-wrenching decision not​ to gather for the annual remembrance and reading of the names.

“Last year, I just felt that it would be detrimental to come down here. I really did,” Tracy Gazzani said.

Complete Coverage9/11 Twenty Years Later

But for this 20th anniversary, Gazzani will once again stand by the pool, next to the name of her only child at the memorial site as it’s read aloud.

“I think back 20 years ago, what was I doing 20 years ago, when Terry was so young and vital. And I live every day thinking about that day,” Gazzani said.

Terrance Gazzani was just 24 years old, and worked for Cantor Fitzgerald on the 104th floor of the north tower.

“Terry. He was the love of our life. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think about him,” Tracy Gazzani said. “After 9/11, it’s that I could almost still hear him in the house, walking up the stairs and pounding down the stairs asking me, can I iron his shirt for him? I, you know, that’s what was hard.”

But Tracy and her husband, Marty, have managed to move forward in spite of their unimaginable loss. Vital to her healing, since 2009, Tracy has been a volunteer at the 9/11 Tribute Center.

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She said she is deeply grateful for the support she finds there.

“Thank God for Tribute Center because it saved my life,” Tracy said.

She added she even sees grace in the towers that caused so much pain.

“They’re just so magnificent,” Tracy said.

The day Grymes spoke to Tracy was actually her first day back walking the halls at Tribute since the COVID crisis kept her away. She reacquainted herself with the exhibition.

“This is the hall we come through first and then go on into the other galleries,” she said.

Then, there are the images.

Still, she said there is a heartache that never goes away, and it was even inflamed by the recent eerily similar building collapse in Florida.

“People searching for their loved ones, it… We put it all back again. That made me so sad, because I know their pain,” Tracy said.

Through her pain, though, she said she is thankful to be back at Tribute, and to be able to take part in this most solemn 20th anniversary.

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“There is a sense of relief that I will be able to, you know, be here, yes,” she said.

Andrea Grymes